Depression

I used to suffer from severe depression until a med cocktail (only three different prescriptions), and some reconditioning on my own accord, I was able to overcome it, for the most part.  I was depressed because I felt I was too ugly to have a normal life.  Then it spiraled into other crap like I'm not smart enough, I'm a loser, etc.  I was a mess and eventually ended up trying to kill myself.  I never did that again, but I wanted to on a regular basis.

I started thinking the world was incredibly biased towards good-looking people - a thought I still hold some belief in, just not as much as I used to.

When I got over the depression, I was feeling great.  And I finally considered myself to be a very good-looking guy.  But recently I've been having relapses.  Relapses where if I see myself in the mirror, I just want to punch it and break it.  Something I did once when I was in the midst of my depression.  

But now I'm 19, about five months have passed since I noticed the miraculous improvement.  But things haven't really been going all that well for me.  My love life hasn't changed at all.  Girls just aren't interested in me and I'm beginning to believe that it is because of my looks.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the case.  I can't see what else is wrong.  I carry myself with confidence, I'm smart, I'm talented...

I usually don't hate the way I look anymore, but I do get into funks where I do despise my appearance.  So I guess that means I'm insecure now instead of just positive I'm unattractive.
Discard92 Discard92
22-25, M
3 Responses Jan 10, 2012

That's the problem with taking pills - they only make you feel better for the period that they work. They create a temporary effect. But in all honesty, you're a pretty boy just other people have treated you so bad you're still reeling back from it. You're putting awful thoughts in your head as a result of it. I have the same problems... you are 19 and you have everything going for you, seize the moment now to live your life. Don't lock yourself up either.

??? And then who is the nice looking guy on your ava?

You're not ugly at all, I would date you if I know you :)