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I Am Insecure About My Looks

I Wish I Could Fix It

By: aj555
Written on January 14th, 2012
My biggest insecurity is my looks. And, makes me kind of sick that I can't see what other people see in me. I feel like I should be a very confident person but I'm not. I get told on a regular basis that I am pretty by my dad, and my sisters, random people and friends. But, for some reason that good feeling lasts for about 5 minutes and then I'm back to thinking I look like a hot mess. I don't know what it will take for me to believe that I am beautiful. I think part of the reason that I am like this is because I'm 22 and still have never had a boyfriend. And, while I know that I shouldn't rely on a guy to make me feel pretty, I think it would make me feel more validated if someone did look at me and think wow I want to date her. Don't get me wrong I get stopped by guys at the mall or walmart all the time, but let's be honest those guys aren't really looking for relationships haha. I also don't have the best complexion. At 22 I still have mild acne flare ups, and still have some acne scars on my face. I remember last week telling my friend about how I need to wear makeup to cover up, and she was like omg me too if I don't wear mascara my eyes look small. I was just thinking are you kidding me? Haha if that's the greatest of your problems then you have nothing to worry about. It could be much much worse. I do envy her and my sister and all these other girls who can go completely natural and have these beautiful complexions. I would love to not feel like I have to wear makeup on a daily basis. It's fun for dressing up and going out, but it's not something I want to wear on a daily basis. I'm mainly not happy with my body. I'm pretty skinny, have really small boobs, I'm also kind of hairy (yuck) and there are a couple of things about me that I'm scared no guy would accept.

Although, these things bother me I have started to make strides towards becoming more secure with my looks. I have just recently started going out of the house makeup free and just toughing it out trying to be confident in myself. I also have just kind of started to accept the other physical traits about myself that I hate. If someone doesn't want to be with me because of the way I look, then that's their problem. There's nothing I can do to change the way I look aside from plastic surgery. And I think at 22 years old it's time for me to just be at peace with it. So, I'm doing m best, and hopefully someday soon I wiil become confident, and comfortable, and accept myself how God made me.
By: aj555
Age: 18-21 , Female
306 people have read this story

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6 responses
  • tawam
    tawam

    hey aj555 never worry what you look like did you know all beautiful women never realize they are with admirarable things with them and not knowing it till someone told them the way they are and it doesnt mean that its about outer looks but deep inside for who you are that way all men looks the same because men always lloks in different way and if now you dont have BF its not a big deal your young and never use alot of make up why because sometimes it irritates your skin more that you never knew it does...thanks for the gesture im glad were friends here in ep...tawam

    Jun 10, 2012
    1 like
  • cutieee9087
    cutieee9087

    There certainly is someone out there for you. Maybe you need to let God bring that person into your life. I have been with my first and only bf for 1 year and a half now and I thank God for bringing us together. He loves my body, flaws and all. It makes me that much more confident that he hasn't been scared off by them yet. Lol but you have to start off by allowing yourself to love your body. If you don't, anyone could tell you how beautiful you are and you'd never believe them and that would only hurt your self esteem.

    Jun 7, 2012
    1 like
    • aj555
      aj555

      Thanks for the comment. So good to hear that you've found a great boyfriend who loves you unconditional. And, I realize that the main problem is me not being self-confident and right now my self-esteem and self-confidence is a work-in-progress. Most days it's good, but some days it's really bad.

      Jun 7, 2012
      1 like
  • Myalee
    Myalee

    Try to believe others when they say you are pretty but we both it's not easy to believe so try to believe in yourself. Nobody is perfect. Someone might be so pretty but when she goes to toilet, she stinks up the place lol lame I know but it's true. I saw a very handsome man once on a bus. He was dressed up to the nines, beautiful clean skin all over, he looked like he was going on a date but believe me when I say this, he was actually picking his nose and basically wiping it all over the seat, the pole and back of chair and the bus was full. Poor woman, she sat next to him and she kept pushing herself up against the window knowing what he was doing! See I mean, nobody's perfect.



    Have you got a bent nose? Bucked teeth? Are you clean? No? Exactly, you are pretty in your own way.

    Mar 15, 2012
    1 like
  • dreamsurfer68
    dreamsurfer68

    Dear Aj555,

    Trust me, there IS someone out there for you, but YOU have to be ready for them. Short of you have a genetic defect that causes public panic, and little children to run away, everything the Good Lord and your momma gave you is good enough!!

    If you want someone to be your life partner, they WILL love YOU for YOU. Not a picture in a fashion magazine, because pictures fade, inner beauty doesn't.

    I have spoken to many people with trophy wives and studly boyfriends and you know what, to the rest of the world they are the perfect couple, but behind the smiles...they are truly miserable. Always worrying if they can trust their partner, or about their aging bodies.

    So you have small breasts, maybe you have a nicer bum, or shapely legs?? So accentuate the positives and play down the negatives. Dress to display your assets.

    Don't go for pushups or padded bras, fake contact lens etc, etc cause what are you gonna do, when you have to undress in front of him??? Men don't like FALSE ADVERTISING, well, real men anyway...

    And not to encourage you to become pregnant..but your breasts will get bigger and remain a little bigger after you have had a child.

    If need be, consult a beautician at the makeup counter and have them show you how to apply light makeup. Remember that they are selling the stuff, so the more they can sell to you, the better for them. So take their advice with a pinch of salt.

    Re: your acne...STRESS is a main factor with breakouts, so CHILL OUT!!! Keep your hands outta your face, and poor diet can also cause flare-ups. Drink lots and lots of water daily (8 cups at least) See a dermatologist if you can afford one, otherwise I have had some friends who have had success with one of the popular advertised products.

    HEY...and you DON'T need a guy to make you feel beautiful, or anyone for that matter.

    Good Luck and big hug!!

    Jan 15, 2012
    1 like
    • aj555
      aj555

      Haha... Thanks for the encouragement. And I know that I just haven't found the right person which is why I'm not in a relationship right now. I think it's just been exacerbated at the moment because pretty much all of my friends are in relationships and most are married. Also, I'm not really that concerned about the size of my breast I don't like them but I don't obsess about it. And, I am also really good at applying natural looking makeup. My main concern is that I rely too much on it which is why lately I've been trying to go without it. As far as the acne, I'm not too worried about the acne I'm mainly worried about the scars they leave. I usually only have a few blackheads. But, you're right about stress. I've been extremely stressed lately and I know it's probably why my skin wasn't at it's best. I know that I don't need a guy to make me beautiful. But, I guess sometimes I think I won't feel validated that I am beautiful until someone actually comes along tells me that and wants to be with me. However, I am trying to work more on my confidence. I'm trying to develop more confidence by not wearing makeup and mainly trying to have a good attitude. But, sometimes the things around me really get me down. And about the pregnancy thing. I have heard that it does make your boobs bigger. And, while I am looking forward to that, there will be no babies for me for a long time. haha

      Jan 15, 2012
      1 like