It's Bringing Me Down

I'm not sure if this is the right group for me to post this in, but I think this is the best fit with my story. My biggest insecurity is my looks. And, makes me kind of sick that I can't see what other people see in me. I feel like I should be a very confident person but I'm not. I get told on a regular basis that I am pretty by my dad, and my sisters, random people and friends. But, for some reason that good feeling lasts for about 5 minutes and then I'm back to thinking I look like a hot mess. I don't know what it will take for me to believe that I am beautiful. I think part of the reason that I am like this is because I'm 22 and still have never had a boyfriend. And, while I know that I shouldn't rely on a guy to make me feel pretty, I think it would make me feel more validated if someone did look at me and think wow I want to date her. Don't get me wrong I get stopped by guys at the mall or walmart all the time, but let's be honest those guys aren't really looking for relationships haha. I'm mainly not happy with my body. There are a couple of things about me that I'm scared no guy would accept.

I'm also insecure about my abilities. I know I'm a smart person, but at the same time I'm constantly comparing myself to other people in my classes calling them geniuses and just thinking of myself as average. I want to get into physical therapy school, but I don't have any confidence in my abilities and I am scared that if I do get accepted I will blow the interview because I don't think as highly of myself as I should.

This also plagued me in high school. I know that I was the best player on the basketball team. And, my first few years playing I believed it. But, as time went on I didn't believe it. And, I think my senior year was my worst. If i would have had more confidence I could have been so much better and helped my team out a lot more. And I could be living out my dream which was to play college ball.

Basically, I need more confidence. I have taken steps to feel more confident. I've recently been going out of the house makeup free which is really hard because my complexion is not the best. I do still have mild acne, and have left over acne scars on my face. But, I'm trying to become more comfortable in my natural state. I also have started to not worry as much about what I wear. I love clothes, but I don't think it's necessary for me to always have my outfits perfect. I've also started to become more confident with the way I talk to people. I sometimes let people walk all over me, but I'm starting to stand up for myself and make sure that I don't let that happen. These steps are very small, but at the same time are very big steps for me. A month ago I wouldn't even consider leaving the house without makeup.
aj555 aj555
18-21, F
7 Responses Jan 14, 2012

It is interesting how we're concerned about our looks but if you look around you, you'll see most adult women are married and found the right man. Most are not what you'd call beautiful. As they get older,(into their 30s) even less. Men too.
Well, I guess what I'm trying say is "why be concerned". You'll never be happy if you continually compare yourself with somebody else. There are always somebody out there that is prettier,smarter, more talented, etc.

You are not the only one being insecure about yourself. I, too, am also insecure about myself. Probably for the same reasons as yourself, except I am also insecure about the pimples on my face. It's ridic, some people say, but I never had acne problems like this before and it makes me miserable. I think having support around you in your daily life and/or even here online will help! This is my first post but I have faith that people like us can get the support and confidence we need. Maybe it will Ben help us with whatever "problem" we think we have.

Hey, thanks for your kind words and letting me know that you can relate to what I'm going through. It does help to have support from others and I am more than willing to lend my support.

You sound exactly how i felt in highschool and at time i still feel that way! I always compare myself to other which is a terrbile thing because you can always only be YOURSELF. We all have something abotu us that someone else doesnt have that is special. I know this may sound weird but working out and little things like that honestly make me feel so much better! I think it the whole healthy part of it all and you just in return feel better!

eirbear is right. A good exercise program not only keeps you healthy but it makes you feel much better.

never feel bad how you look like what counts is how you make it use of it and how you approach for beauty only lies to the eyes of the beholder and never as an outlook approach...hhhmmm well i guess sometimes you need to smile a little and show that your not so snub and chat a little it helps alot and mingle with friends to see your radiant smile and friendly nature thats goo you know?

Way to go, keep it up.

i agree ahim confidence is the key get out there and enjoy your life!!! you have one chance only!!!

In real love you know beauty does not matters ....Only thing you have to doo is to be confident about your self and be what you will definitely find a guy who sees inside your heart not outside body.