A Letter To Mom

I know you will never be able to read this. But today I felt like I have lost the final shelter that I had on this earth. I know you are stressed because of all that is happening within the family and may be because of this you did what you did today. It wouldl be an arranged marriage as you were the one who wanted me to marry him. And I said that if somehow this engagement broke because of all that we were going through, I will be able to go on with my life as if nothing will have happened. But now you think of my engagement as your mistake because you didn't include your husband in that decision! Yes, he is your husband only. Not my father! Fathers are not like that. You know. You know why I hate him. You know he has made our lives hell. Well, so.... now .. you are saying that it was me who made you to arrange for that engagement! No! I was you who wanted so. And you also know that he was a stranger to me. He was a nice guy, I liked him but I didn't love him. Yes, I didn't. But now... after such a long period of time a few months before marriage, you are saying that it was a mistake!... I am in love with him... I am. You can leave me like father did. But you cannot erase this love. I can breathe without him but I can never live. I am not a robot. I have feelings. I can fall in love.. and fallling in love with my own fiance! it is not strange, mom. Is it?
You have created such an enviroment that I cannot say it aloud that I love him but I do. If you or your husband made it difficult for me to marry. I won't yell... I won't cry... I will just go away... far far away.. where I will never come back from. I will leave this country.
Your daughter,
Human, Not Robot.
FoundThenLostOnTheSameDay FoundThenLostOnTheSameDay
5 Responses Nov 17, 2012

Live your life to suit your needs ,good luck.

:) thank you :)

do whatever you want is your life , your decisions!

you're in a difficult position, now that you love him I hope the marriage goes through. Just wondering though if your family arranged the marriage how can they suddenly cancel it without losing face. I am not trying to be offensive with the question but am not familiar with this sort of cultural thing.

Go to Allah and He will be with you. For He is the owner of everything and has control over everything - كن فيكون = 'Be and it is'.

See, life is not meant to go your way; it doesn't follow you. But Allah is able to do aLL things and can make it happen. Allah is the turner of hearts - in less than a second, He can fill ur mum's heart in liking ur fiance and willingly accept ur marriage. Life doesn't revolve around u and the moment ''your heart'' realizes that, then you won't fear what anyone might do or what will happen because AS LONG as you're doing what pleases Allah, then, it'll be okay ..

It seems that you'd do the extreme if it ends between u and ur fiance. Then why not do the best you can in reaching to Allah and knocking on His door of unlimited giving mercy to make everything better. Give charity for the sake of Allah in helping u in ur situation; pray to raka at night and make dua; fast for the sake of Allah and make every dua, especially when adhan of mughrab etc.

''The pai in ur heart was created
to year less for this life and more
for heaven.''

Remember: a smooth sea never
made a skillful sailor..

Sweet sis, may Allah guide you into His eteranl soothing light of overlowing peace - ameen.


((( hugs )))

Thanks *speechless*