And Want to Change
I feel weak, scared, and frustrated with myself. I can see the path ahead of me, follow along quite nicely- until a bump in the road knocks me on my butt. I get up- brush myself off- and then the feelings of doubt, fear, and memories come flooding back. Suddenly, I am paralyzed within myself. I don't know how to move forward. I want to reach out, ask for help, but then that too drives me further into paralysis. Rejection, abandonment, ...so many frigging issues. How can I learn to overcome these fears, the insecurities, when I don't even know how to believe in myself? Yet that is precisely what I do want- to believe in myself. I am without a doubt, a mess.