Most Of The Time
I'm getting sick of it, to be honest.
I have people who love me, I am well liked at work by staff and students, I'm intelligent, erudite (most of the time, lol), witty (some of the time, lol), I believe I have the right principles, a kind, all embracing heart and mind, reasonably good looking (eye of the beholder and all that) , but I still feel insecure, I still lack self-confidence.
Why, then, do I always feel that people are judging me, that they will go off me, that I will ultimately end up alone? I think that if someone doesn't reply to a message (phone, email, EP, whatever), that they have found someone more interesting to converse with, or that I have inadvertantly said or done something that has put them off me? I feel on an emotional rollercoaster, on the edge of a precipice, not all the time, but far too much, and it depresses me sometimes that it holds me back, when I do not have the time to wait, if I still want to realise ambitions.
Sorry, just had to get that out.