A Sweet...sweet Escape...


Because ultimately there isn't one......

You go round and round in circles..... in your own head....

In your own Life.... then..... in others. Its quite an adrenaline

at first.... Where you laugh it off coz your scared and its new,

no your not enjoying it, but you dont know what it is....... So while your trying

to get a grip and make sense of it while your still spinning.... you start to feel the

nausea, you start to feel it all come up....... all that you'd ever felt.... all that you were meant to leave

behind, all that you thought you'd forgotten, all rises afresh from the sweet dormant heat. But whose watching.

The nausea slides in that stubbornness where you just want to keep going because

if you stop it'll all only end up getting worse, you'll end up facing those feelings that bring ,

some sort of hidden reality to life.......

it never uncovers itself, except when your by yourself...... and you never know what that feeling is and what disguise it'll take to get to you. So  you keep spinning and dancing.... thinking.... then forgetting.... and then remembering.

The stubbornness begins to resign, as it paves the way to push numbness into you, where you feel unbeatable, you like that pain with your pleasure..... you think you'll get through it by letting it take over you, your starting to let go..... your now..... numb, maybe even happy, your letting go.............

Till, something rises again... and stings you! your spinning....... the music running through you......beating all around you...... your dissolving....... into the melody of all those times you want to forget........ that tune.....it makes your life dance in you...... its diabolical.... its all coming right at you, but your dancing to them and there flowing through you, the rain crashes on to you, the darkness around you, swallows you..... by now... your divine ...

but, you find, your still transcending...... something left your body. You cant see them now..... you cant hear them now ......

You can taste... it now...

there all so far away while your moving into hidden dimensions and explanations, your nearly there ....... your leaving. Your dancing to that music.... to that calling, the body's absorbing the heavy air.... your not breathing only moving....  absorbing...... your thoughts are finally playing, connecting, smiling.... then, deceiving. Telling you lies that you were meant to live......



They laugh as you hunger for those lies, reality of what should have happened and what has happened....... battles ........ no ones winning, but someone's  still loosing,

you are........



your eyes close...... as you experience hidden eruptions of ecstasy...... caused by the sadness and  the violence that had once surrounded you...... there connecting through you....... your reaching for them......there moving to you

Your hands run through your hair.... your body's swaying.... eyes closing.... the melody cruel.... still playing... your backs responding to that beat.... your collapsing.........

your crying... the rains still falling... your now back to the beginning...

The melody only waning.... only whispering.... never finishing...

But Who is watching...


twilighteyes twilighteyes
22-25
3 Responses Feb 25, 2010

That was amazing, I loved it.

Oh my Twi ! Yes, this is very intense ! I can't find the words to tell you how it makes me feel. You have a rare gift . I don't just read your words in my mind. They flow through my entire being, like the waves pounding the cliffs. The weight of it all breaks my heart and crushes my soul. You really are such a special person. Sending lots of hugs to you!

This is so beautiful.