My Interpretation Of The Bdsm World

There are to me different titles that have different definitions for a lot of people and there is a lot of disagreement with the difference between a Master/dom, a slave/submissive.

To me, Masters/slaves is a complex relationship because people who are into this life style want something different than the rest. Some Masters may be brutal and a little on the sadistic side, others are strict but also show some form of affection for their slaves. To me, slaves and subs are different, when I think of slaves, I would think that they want to be slaves 24/7 where as subs they want to role play and just want to be a sub in the bedroom and that's it, nothing more. I would think real Masters want to be Masters 24/7 and doms, just like subs, they want to role play. I was talking to this Master on collarme.com when I used to be on that site, and I called him Sir instead of Master and he got mad. He said a real Master would be insulted if I called him sir. He told me that only doms go by sir and if a Master tells you it's ok to call him sir, then he's really a dom posing to be a Master but I don't know, I don't know a lot about this stuff, I'm pratically a newbie.

New update to the blog:

For this update, I'm going to talk about fetishes, breed slaves, hard limits, safe words, pets, and of course the maso-slaves.

For fetishes, this is complex because every Master and slave and the others have fetishes, it's human nature. They know what they want done to them or something they want to do to someone. Some slaves might be into golden showers, being beaten, have pain inflicted on them, raped (real or role play) snuff play, knife play, gun play, fire play, breath play, blood play, pins, needles, whipped, chained or shackled, locked away in a basement or closet for days or weeks at a time, being held captive or even being forced to do stuff they don't want and also being humiliated or be used. As far as Masters go, they may want to hurt their slaves all the time or hardly ever, be sadistic, rape their slaves, have their friends **** their slaves or rape them which ever the Master prefers, humiliate them, call the names ( *****, *****, ****, ****, the 'N' word...etc), putting paper bags over their heads, having them go to the bathroom with the door wide open, giving golden or brown showers, choke, hit, spit, beat, bite until the skin breaks, *******, caning, leaving bruises on their slaves, making them cry, making them beg for something or having them beg their Master not to do something to them. There is so much a Master might want, but of course it differs from Master to Master, slave to slave. Surely not all Masters are like that, some just want to teach their slaves to respect them, obey them, and use good manners when they talk to their Master when their Master gives them permission to speak/speak to others. A well trained and well mannered slave reflects on how well the Master has tought her how to be.

Those of us who know about this life style, know what breed slaves are and what they're for. I picture many ppl from my circle reading this and not understanding what I'm talking about, so to educate them (also for fellow BDSM lovers can help educate as well) I'll give a short little description of who they are. Breed slaves are slaves that want to get pregnant by their Master or their Master will have someone else get her pregnant. The babies will then grow up to be either slaves or Masters and usually the Master shows and teaches the child(ren) how to act their part. I'm all for getting pregnant by my Master or by anyone he chooses, but I'm not sure if I like the idea of the baby growing up to be like me or like the Master. I just love the feeling of being pregnant and knowing that I have his seed in me and getting the attention for being prego. So the outcome of how the child would be raised will need to be disscussed before the slave gets pregnant just so those two are on the same page unless you have the kind of Master that doesn't want your input and will get you pregnant and raise the child how he wants and not how you want. I guess that's a different topic though...

For hard limits, it's something that you really, really don't want and your Master should respect that. Soft limits are stuff that you will consider doing for your Master. Some Masters believe that slaves shouldn't have any limits because that gives them some kind of control and the Master can't fully do what he wants to you, others don't really mind. Now for safe words, they are used in case you need your Master or dom to stop. For example, if your Master is ******* you in the *** and you call a safe word (red, blue etc...it doesn't have to be a color, but it can't be stop or no) he or she is supposed to stop. Of course everyone doesn't  have to use safe words with your Master or Misstress, you can just be brave and take it. I don't like using safe words because I like the thought of my Master controlling everything, so there are things I would object to.

Now for the last one which will describe me, the maso-slaves. Maso-slaves (masochist) love pain, love getting hurt.  I would interperate the maso-slave to need a Master who is brutal and very sadistic, a Master who's not afraid of inflicting pain, hurt, and suffering into or onto their slaves (it might just be me, because that's what I would look for). I'm the type of maso-slave who does like to be humiliated and stuff of which I mentioned up above with humilation. I'm pretty much into all of it, like I said, I'm weird and a freak.

Sometimes I've wondered what it'd be like if I had a sissy slave pet (having a male slave and me dominate him) but see I would want a Master, but a Master that would give me permission to have a pet, the only thing is I wouldn't be able to **** the sissy pet which wouldn't be a problem for me. I just think that it would be fun to have that's all. Or to have a pet that would give me money when I want, I'd humiliate him and pretty much do to him what my Master does to me minus the sex of course, but it's just a thought I have.


I guess out of everyone who reads this and adds comments, I'd like to know what do you look for in a slave/sub, Master/Mistress/dom? What would be your perfect slave or Master? How would you want them to be?




AspiringPersephone AspiringPersephone
22-25, F
12 Responses Aug 5, 2010

Very interesting topic and responses. My first comment is about the Dom that got upset because you called him Sir. He is an *******! I have been studying this lifestyle for awhile now and checked out many sites. What I have read over and over that it is acceptable to refer to another Dom as Sir. Now if he preferred to be called something else a true Dom would politely tell you what he prefers to be called and ask you to refer to him in that manner from that point on. <br />
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Now SunnyBelle I disagree on your comment that 99% of women are submissive. I have ALWAYS been a dominant woman in every aspect of my life. In and out of the bedroom and if I chose to be a Domme that it would come naturally to me. I have made the decision to become a sub specifically because I am such a dominant woman. I find the idea very erotic and appealing giving someone else the control that I have always held on to with a death grip. I am a "scene" pla<x>yer only, which means I play the D/s in a specific amount of time and it is sexual submission only. <br />
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As for the rest of the story and comments. I agree that it is different with each person. The D/s or M/s relationship is unique and specific to each couple. That it can differ greatly from one Dom/Domme-Master/mistress to their submissive/slaves.

I understand that, SP069 and it is very imported.

"Some slaves might be into golden showers, being beaten, have pain inflicted on them, raped (real or role play) snuff play, knife play, gun play, fire play, breath play, blood play, pins, needles, whipped, chained or shackled, locked away in a ba<x>sement or closet for days or weeks at a time, being held captive or even being forced to do stuff they don't want and also being humiliated or be used."<br />
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My Mistress P calls me slave, I call me slave, I am proud to wear the callar She gave me which has embossed on it "OWNED BY MP" so I think it right to terml me a slave. I am not a pain **** - a little is OK for me but what is really OK for me is being used to give my Mistress pleasure. To put it bluntly I get pleasure from Mistress getting pleasure.

As a female and core submissive, I couldn't ever likely wish to have a "sissy pet" unless my Master ordered that I have one. This is because as a total submissive, I don't do well with being "alpha" as a female creature. My Master is in process of training me to be what he terms "no-limit" meaning there's no safe words and/or hard/soft limits of any kind once he deems me a proper no-limit **** for his pleasures. I can agree with much of what you've said in your story, though, otherwise. And I thank you for sharing your thoughts, which, incidentally, are allowed (censorship may say otherwise,) but in the realm of discussion amongst thinking people on issues of the dark arts of bdsm and the like involving kink, as well as relationships, in general, I think you've offered a well-rounded course for those wanting to know more on the subject:) Well done, and I much enjoyed reading:)

Bonnie,<br />
I'm sure it would be a very rewarding experience! <br />
B/cos I do it at home (my wife is not assertive), i can submit to a woman like you if you have a spanking instrument in you hand, and/or wants to tie me. So, it makes a lot of sense.<br />
You will experience an extra thrill that is presently not part of your world!

I agree with what you said in the phrase "It's whatever floats their boat" I am a submissive woman behind the closed bedroom door. Out of it I am pretty much in control of non-sexual life. I do like to experience at least once a submissive male under a submissive female such as me. I don't need a slave but someone who is move submissive than me. Does that make sense? I am not sure. I bet it will be a rewarding experience for both.

MrCrimson, I do believe in "horses for courses", thus I agree with you. We must stay away from definitions. I'm dominant in the normal world, but b/cos of that i like to be sub in the bedroom. So, it is very erotic to me when my wife takes a cane spank me during foreplay.<br />
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Bunny, You are correct with the many different varieties of BDSM. I'm looking forward to an experienced or 2 from you in the BDSM category!

Well I can assure everyone who reads this, that I didn't write this to spark up a debate. The group I wrote this for is called "I am interested in BDSM" and that's why I wrote this. My interpretation of this world of course I know not everyone will agree and that's fine. Everyone can go on thinking that there is no such thing as having labels or using labels, that's fine. It's not like I'm forcing ppl to use labels just because I like to because it makes learning about this world a lot easier for me. <br />
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I know everyone will not agree that I think there is a difference between slave/sub and Master/dom, but that's just how I feel, I can't change it because this opinion is based solely upon how I feel about the topic, and ppl with their opinions about it is based solely upon them.<br />
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To mrcrimson, my definitions of what I talked about are not from anything I've read, it's just all based on what I think. What I think may be wrong to you (and others) and that's fine, I am interested in learning and wanting to know more about this lifestyle. I will say aside from this site, I have talked to many ppl who take it very seriously and don't **** around with what they talk about or what they like or anything like that, and I love it. With everyone I talked to, I asked them for their opinions if there are such differences in what I'm talking about, most said yes, a lot said no. So with that, I took into consideration and I thought through a lot of what ppl said and I came up with what I wrote. <br />
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As for relationships everyone knows all relationships are complex, there are some ppl who don't want to be loved and fight the feeling of having love. Also I wasn't trying to imply that subs can't feel the way a slave can about having love for their Master or dom or whatever type of person they're with, it's whatever floats their boat and I know that. I wasn't trying to suggest otherwise... <br />
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This whole massive thing that I wrote is all opinion, I don't state facts, just facts about how I think and how I feel about the topic. My definitions, my "wide eyed" for wanting to explore this world are opinions, my want and desire to be a maso-slave to a Master in public is opinion (of course doing anything in public is based upon the person and their wanting to do it), my interpretation of this whole thing is all opinions. <br />
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Anyway, with that said, I still want more insight... but I think I'm going to read some stories in this group real quick.

I don't label my men dom or any such thing. I am know I am submissive woman and let men be men.. I am submissive in dictionay sense of the word.. not in bdsm lingo.. <br />
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So in that sense, I think 99% of the women are sumissive.<br />
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Am I wrong?

I appreciate all the inpute, wasn't expecting replies at all actually lol. I actually wrote this when I was 19 and I posted it on myspace, but I took it off. I know ppl on that site don't take things seriously and I take this life style seriously.<br />
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To daddyd, when I mentioned that doms and subs are for role play, it was because a lot of ppl that I did talk to aren't in the life style 24/7/365(366). They just live it only in the bedroom. I know there isn't too much you can do in public, but I don't care. If I'm a slave to my Master, I want it to be known, I want ppl to know I serve him and grovel at his feet. With the daddy I have, he's not a Master at all, he's not into it one bit and I can look past it, but my urge to serve someone is still there and always will be. I promised myself that if things go wrong between us, I would then like to seek a Master and hopefully can prove to him my worthiness to serve him in any way he wants.<br />
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To ServeMisstressP, this blog has a lot more than what I posted up. I did include pets, breeding, different fetishes and so on. Since this has sparked a topic, I will post up the rest of this blog tonight. As I've said, everyone has a definition for what a slave is or isn't, what a sub is or isn't. I do like to prefer slaves as ppl who are more into it and want to be a slave all the time and subs the way I described them. I'm not right nor wrong in my definition because when it comes to this topic, it seems not everyone can agree with what Master/slaves, doms/subs are and what makes one better than the other. There isn't anything wrong with ppl role playing a part, but I don't do role play when it comes to this sex/life style.<br />
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Hope to hear more feedback when I update this, so keep a look out for it.

Sorry, daddyd, but I respectfully disagree. I am married to My Master, and we have a deeply romantic relationship in addition to our D/s relationship. Likewise. I fall in love with each slave I've collared. Romance is not restricted to Doms and subs.

These definitions vary widely from person to person and even region to region -- there are no hard and fixed standards. <br />
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That man you were talking with is, in My less than humble opinion, an idiot. Addressing Someone as Sir is a show of respect for and deference to his station as a Dominant. That said, you should do your best to respect His wishes for the manner in which you refer to Him, but only to the point that it does not infringe on your values.<br />
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For example, I will only address One person as Master -- the Man who put the collar around My neck. That's not to say I won't use Master if it is part of the name a Dom goes by (e.g. Master Gitano), but I will always say His full name when I address Him. The title Master, even conversationally, is reserved for the One I serve and I will -- respectfully -- refuse to comply with Anyone who tells Me otherwise.<br />
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Likewise, I reserve the title of slave for a submissive I Own or those who are Owned by others. I refer to everyone else, even those wearing My training collar, as subs.<br />
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You left out pets. Some use it as a title or affectionate moniker -- I refer to all those who are Mine as My pets as a term of endearment. For others, it designates the sub's role as a human animal (e.g. pony, piggy, puppy, etc.) The extent to which those roles are assumed also varies -- I've met Owners who only permit their property to be out of "pony space" during specific times or activities, otherwise they cannot speak, walk upright, etc. Others have their subs follow certain pet rules like no sitting on the furniture unless invited, always eating from a bowl on the floor, and such.<br />
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The beauty of BDSM is that it is adaptable -- each set of partners is free to negotiate their own guidelines, titles, and, for want of a better term, rules of engagement.