Exploring My Fantasy Finally

I only started exploring my sexual fantasies about a year ago, after I started dating my current boyfriend, Jack. I was married for 17 years to my highschool sweetheart, and we never discussed anything like role play, or even watched **** together. He just wasn't that type. Jack, on the other hand, is very sexual, and he introduced me to the world of online ****.

It all started when Jack asked me to pick the **** we would watch that night. I looked at the endless number of categories, keywords, and tags to try to figure out what would turn me on. I knew that nothing he chose really did anything for me. Actually, most of what I'd seen just disappointed me. The girls were always too eager, and pretentious, and they seemed to be trying too hard to impress. I also wanted to hear more dialogue. I didn't know much more than that, and that's how my never-ending search for my sexual fantasy began.

I started searching all over the internet for something that got my juices flowing. I have read countless erotic stories, blogs, and even Wikipedia articles about fantasy. Nothing seemed to be exactly right. Its only been a month that I realized I'm somewhere in the submissive, daddy's girl, category. The reason why I didn't look too much into this initially, was that I have no desire to call someone daddy or uncle or anything similar. That actually ruins the mood for me. Another thing is that it seems like the predominant fetish underlying this sexual genre is spanking. I am not at all adverse to being spanked, but that is not a big part in my fantasy. So, thats where I find myself today... Much closer to discovering what I desire, but yet still feeling far away from knowing where to go from here. I want to understand exactly what I lust for, before I start talking to Jack about it. Why? Because sadly, I'm afraid he'll ruin it for me if its not just right. As a matter of fact, the whole idea of having to "roleplay" it takes away alot of the appeal. I wish this fantasy of mine was really real! The idea of my man pretending to be someone, just because I asked him to, makes him that much less of the strong, dominant man I desire. But, there's not much I can do about that, because Jack isn't going to read my mind. I need to talk to him soon because the role he has me in right now is not doing it for me. I'm not going to go into much detail about this right now, but I will say that he is way too rough with me and our sex is becoming less and less enjoyable as time goes on.

So I'm on a mission to write down every little thing that I've found turns me on, and I'm going to put the pieces together and hopefully come up with a nice synopsis of what I desire, and present it to Jack. I can only hope that it turns him on too. Any ideas, advice, stories, experiences would be much appreciated!
LeighaK LeighaK
36-40, F
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

Good sub should has listen to her Dom, and be good girl.