I am not in a Ds relationship nor have I been. I wonder several things though. Being that it is human nature to feel like you want attention and in some cases the center of attention, do you think it becomes abuse when a sub is constantly commanded to do more when she has accomplished something asked of her and never appreciated for what she has done?

I conclude with a sub loves to please for approval. But if she never receives approval (praise, accolades, pat on the head, kiss, warmth, a Dom's smile) but instead more orders, would that cause resentment instead of the desired effect of wanting to do more for her Dom?

Greeneyedgrr1 Greeneyedgrr1
22-25, F
5 Responses May 6, 2014


I truly hope that the dom I've spent weeks talking to and getting to know really has my best interest at heart. We both have roles to play. Mine is to serve and please him, I get that, but my pleasure comes from the reward of being told, good job.

Yes, not being given praise for being a good girl or boy is devastating and leads to resentment. A good dom knows this.

BDSM not done properly is abuse. and what you describe is not proper BDSM - it shall be about relationship, growth, development, reasonable tasks, feedback, praise, reward and punishments ...

I am really fascinated by domme/sub relationship. I would like to be the sub. For me it is about giving pleasure to someone I care about, I find satisfaction in that. But you do pose a genuine question, what happens to the sub if he gets no appreciation for it! Hmm... think I will have to enter in a relationship to find out! :)