So Happy To Be Here

Good Afternoon, new friends!

I am Firefly. And, I am a switch. I have loved the BDSM world for many years. And I have loved the many acquaintences and dear friends I have met along the way. I am without any companions and for now, that suits me just fine. I'm in the middle of an unpleasant divorce (are any of them pleasant? I suppose not). For many years I believed myself to be a submissive, a true submissive. Not a slave, but merely submissive.

A year or so ago, a trusted friend helped me to see that I am a bit of a sadist. From there, I discovered that I had some Domme tendencies. When we realized that I was not merely "topping from the bottom" it was more than funny. He, at the same time, discovered that he had truly masochistic tendencies and was finding it difficult to train me, or punish me as needed because he found the experience of being dominated very arousing. So, we both discovered our true natures at the same time!

Now, I find it difficult to remain in one space. As I am submitting, and am truly enjoying the act and the vulnerability; I find myself considering also what I would do as a Domme in the same scenario. It detracts from the experience and I'm not feeling the true surrender I am hoping to feel. In the Domme position, I am more in control -- probably helped by the position itself. And yet, as I am learning the craft of rope-work and leaving no marks, I find myself intrigued and want to know what my work feels like from the bound position! So frustrating! Perhaps in time, I will be able to separate these two halves of myself!

I am loving this group and loving the stories I have read. I am hoping to get to meet some of you and share information, stories and tips!
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Aug 6, 2010

I believed myself to be truly submissive. I was in a slave postion for quite some time. But since being with my new Dom, he has shown me that I am not as submissive as I once thought. But I am no where near a full Dom. So I have been doing wrk as a Switch, and have been enjoying it fully. To be submissive, but at the same time, give him a run for his money as I struggle and disobey. And then when I top, have him give me a few commands typ deal.<br />
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It's very satisfying once you both find your true roles. We've been quite happy since we both found our Switch personalities.