I laugh when I am nervous!!!

Been raised in a catholic home in Ireland, I became very adept at the rituals & ceremonies within the church. As far as we were concerned God was an absent minded prankster who set everyone up for a fall, punishable by eternity in hell, being barbequed on a spit til the end of time. So when I accidently killed an already dying kitten, my aunt told me I was a murderer & no priest could ever forgive me.
Over the years while attending a host of elderly relatives who had passed on, I started to laugh at the bedside while all family around me were praying incessantly. Eventually I cracked up at every solemn occasion I ever attended.
Then when my darling Grandmother died, a person I loved dearly, I mentioned my issues regarding funerals to a client, who assured me it was a sign of nerves & I wasn't demon possessed as thought for accidently killing a kitten.
The client suggested I have a couple of brandy's to settle me & I'd be able to conduct myself in a dignified manner.
After downing 2 brandy's & dwelling on the great times I had with my gran, I noticed it was 7:00 pm I should've been at the funeral home 15 minutes beforehand. So I ran up the main street in Limerick & down another to the funeral home, I saw a woman from my home town, I greeted her before walking inside & over to the open casket.
To my horror, this looked nothing like my Gran, her hair was cut short & styled like a man's, she had make-up on when she never did while alive & looked 50 pounds heavier. I leaned over, kissed her forehead, said my goodbyes before proceeding to sit with the rest of my family. They were no-where to be seen, to my absolute horror, I realized I was in the wrong funeral parlour & thats why my 'Granny' looked very peculiar, it was because it wasn't her.
When I crossed the road to the right place, I could barely look at my actual Grandmother without starting to laugh, when asked by my sister why I was late & now laughing. I blurted out, I'd just kissed a corpse across the street & was in major trauma. I know my granny & other deceased relatives must've been cracking up laughing at my antics. To this day it makes many clients of mine roll around in fits of laughter.... LOL
Jonn2910 Jonn2910
51-55, M
9 Responses Jul 4, 2012

Bless your heart, sweet man :-)

Thank you, but its a wild story lol

What a funny moment on such a sad occasion :)

That's hilarious!!!

Isn't it? I use it to cheer myself up on down days. Some people in my family didn't find it funny, others repeatedly ask me to share it & other similar stories regularly.. Delighted you found it amusing :)

That made me laugh me butt off!!!! I am still laughing. It is so me!!!!! When my Mom passed away, the plot where she was to be buried was in the middle of the graveyard and no machine could get there. So the funeral home hired grave-diggers. Well, this bunch could not read nor write. The funeral director told them her last name was Hackett and to look for that marker, as my Dad was already buried there. She told them it started with an H. So, they found a grave with the name of Holcomb and dug my mom's grave there. I and my husband and children came walking up and I had this confused look on my face and I stammered but...but...look there and there. That's not right, is it? My cousins came out of the church and said now don't get mad. I said I'm not mad. She made those poor men fill that grave and go to the correct place and double time dig and get set up for the funeral. We all laughed because what else could we do. That's just the way our family is.

This story made me laugh the first time I read it and I was at a funeral recently and thought of you, and OMG I had to get up and leave. I am certain the mourners thought I was overcome with pain from the loss of this person but in reality they had colored the woman's hair in a blue tint and all I could think of was this story you had told me... I literally ran out because I was tearing up in laughter. I hope that God has a sense of humor or I am going to hell. :)

So happy it did that for you as I've had occasional 'commiserations from people devoid of all sense of humor. Its always a great indicator of whether I can become a great friend with someone so glad it had you in tears x

OMG I was rolling by the time I got to the car and to set it all off I got a naughty text from someone that didn't realize I was at a funeral and I thought I had the phone off but it went to vibrate so it started scooting across the pew and sounded like a vibrator. I was bright red when I ended up leaving there. :)

Excellent,I should really get the rest of my frenetic stories out here if its doing that good x

Its all fact too..

Laughing my *** off! You were right...no undertaking for you, lol.

TY & Thats the edited version btw. Have quite a lot of whacked out stories of that nature I must get down on paper soon...

Yes, you should...and share them with us. .

I really do hope you write them out. Sort of a "History of you". Good fun.

This was too funny! Thanks for sharing.

I sure will, as their all crazy funny. My life has never been boring :)