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You Know You'Re Irish If...

- You're still afraid of the wooden spoon.
- You come home from the beach scalded and finally realise that the Factor 50 everyone was talking about wasn't a nightclub.
- You have the craic at a funeral which leads to a session, provided the deceased got a "good age".
- You drink flat 7UP for every ailment because it cures everything.
- Bosco taught you to count.
- You call the cupboard "the press".
- The person that you insult most is probably your best friend.
- During your youth much of your food was boiled.
- You have no idea how to make a long story short.
- You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing.
- Tea is the solution to every problem.
- And holy water is the solution to every injury.
- You have a gift for swearing.
- You say 'now we're sucking diesel' to show that you are happy with the outcome of the situation.
- You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. 'I had a rake of drink last night' or "I'll be out in a minute, I'm just shoveling down the dinner'.
- You can say "any craic' to a policeman and you won't get arrested.


Anybody want to add anything..? xxxBPxxx
deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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honestly didn't know 14 was a thing until i read this, but i've been saying it since i was like 10.

You know you're from Limerick when...
·You have an uncontrolable urge to steal.
·You constantly deny that Limerick is rough; despite having being stabbed at least 12 times yourself.
·Gardas and prison officers outnumber family members at funerals.
·Bikers back down from your mother in a fight.
·You think Dubliners are 'shandy drinking poofs'.

You know you're from Cork when...
·You constantly refer to Cork as 'the real capital'.
·You think of Murphy's as the sixth food group.
·You disagree; Murphy's is the FIRST food group and call anyone a 'Langer' if they disagree.
·You say the word 'like' at least 700 times a day.
·You're always going on about how much better than Dublin Cork is.
·You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread and potatoes.

You know you're from Dublin when...
·You say 'tawen' when you mean the city centre.
·You can't remember the last time you got up to 30mph in your car in "tawen."
·You think it is perfectly normal to pay over EUR4 for a pint.
·You think anyone not from Dublin is from 'the country'.
·You say the word 'bleedin' at least 700 times a day.
·You laugh at all other Irish accents despite the fact that nobody anywhere on this planet can understand a word you say.
·You have several family members called Christy and Anto.

You know you're from Galway when...
·You say "Howsa' goin" all the time.
·You can't remember a weekend when a friend from Dublin or Cork wasn't sleeping on your couch.
·Your weekly cannabis intake has now exceeded that of the entire island of Jamaica.
·When you say you're from Galway, people immediately say 'great town' and tell you about their wild weekends in Salthill.
·You're always banging on about saving the Irish language but can't actually speak a word of it yourself.
·You think that it's perfectly normal to have 6 buskers, 19 Romanian beggers, and an English krusty holding some twine tied to a filthy starving dog telling fortunes - all on the same street.

Good Job

Every problem you had growing up could be cured with "a good boot up the arse!"

You had to boil the food to death otherwise you got "worms in your tissues" or so my grandpa would say.

I still shake when I see a nun with a yard stick ! Also....an irishmens biggest problem is thick blood and a shot of Jamesons whiskey in the morning ( or whenever) cures that.

Only part black irish and born in the US...but that wooden spoon hit the nail on the head! (actually it was meant for discipline)
And I do have the gift of swearing (called cussing out here)

yes....it has gone through the generations in my family! Whack

:)

haha hit the nail on the head there

LOL! I like this :)

Thinks ya got,s it covered their lol

Ah sur it ill be geand no matter how bad it is

A cup of teaa makes every thing ok :)