You Know You'Re Irish If...- You're still afraid of the wooden spoon.
- You come home from the beach scalded and finally realise that the Factor 50 everyone was talking about wasn't a nightclub.
- You have the craic at a funeral which leads to a session, provided the deceased got a "good age".
- You drink flat 7UP for every ailment because it cures everything.
- Bosco taught you to count.
- You call the cupboard "the press".
- The person that you insult most is probably your best friend.
- During your youth much of your food was boiled.
- You have no idea how to make a long story short.
- You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing.
- Tea is the solution to every problem.
- And holy water is the solution to every injury.
- You have a gift for swearing.
- You say 'now we're sucking diesel' to show that you are happy with the outcome of the situation.
- You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. 'I had a rake of drink last night' or "I'll be out in a minute, I'm just shoveling down the dinner'.
- You can say "any craic' to a policeman and you won't get arrested.
Anybody want to add anything..? xxxBPxxx