I am Irritated

I dont know if this new year is something really a new year for me. We dont believe in this such things, but as a respect, I just go with the flow. I am imagining wither this new year will be a new life for me...and I think its not, after all we are the makers of our destiny. Will first thing first, Just this past 2 days of new year starting yesterday, I feel so irritated at myself. I couldn't really change. Its been a year since then but I really cant find any motivation that can left me up. This morning I woke feeling the sensation of having hard time going around. My body seems so lazy enough to do anything. This is the reason why I really really am irritated with myself cause I dont know anything! I cant seems to change myself. I am becoming more lazier than ever...=,( I even felt that time is running after me that I cant seems to handle things. What are the things do I need in order for me to be motivated. This is so hard. I am also irritated being alone. I love being alobe yet I hate so much. I want to go outside but I cant....I just wished that there is a magic that will come into my life.