Recently I talked to someone that I only talked to during the school term. She questioned how I ever became friends with her, because I can't easily make friends both online and in life. I kept thinking about what she said. I can't really call her a friend because we don't talk to each other than the school days. I realized that a lot of people I hanged out with on rare occasion aren't really my friends, they are just the friends of the one person I only talk to on what use to be a day by day basis. If he didn't invite me, then I wouldn't see them ever and they wouldn't make an effort to see me. What's worse is that same female friend I mentioned now talks constantly to the only friend I have. I am very jealous and afraid that I'll be left behind. They have so much in common and it is so effortless for them to be together. I don't want to wish any ill fate on them, I was angry that she brought up that sensitive topic, but she doesn't know that it was sensitive to me. I want them to be happy, but that means I am in the way. I will only be perceived as someone who is just dull and annoying. I find it so very difficult to maintain just one simple conversation with just about everyone I know. I still don't know how to enjoy a life of solitude. I try to distract myself with work, hobbies and tv shows. So, I fear for the days ahead, because I won't have anyone to talk to for a long long while.
natetiox natetiox
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

be confident in urself what u r

thanks