Sick & Tired Of Feeling This Way!!!!

     Well me & my boyfriend have been together for 16 mos. now.  I am much younger than him, I am 21 years old soon to be 22 & he is 40. He has 4 children the oldest is 6 mos. older than me, but she passed away from alcohol poisoning in 2004.  He has a 19 yr. old daughter, 10 yr. old daughter, and an 8yr. old son.  I have no children and this is my first time being in a serious relationship with a guy who has children. Also keep in mind they are nearly my age and half my age.  His first two children were with his first wife and his second two by his second wife.  He also remarried after the second wife but didn't have any children with the third one.  So yes he has been married three times!  He is extraordinary father.  The first wife is a deadbeat who doesn't take care of her children, he raised them full-time and for the past 6 yrs. has raised the 19 yr. old.  The younger two's mother isn't the best mother but she does do her best.... I guess?  They have always had 50/50 custody up until 3 or 4 yrs. ago she moved to Texas.  He had them during school she had them when they weren't.  He was miserable being away from them all summer long and on the holidays, which is completely understandable.  So we moved the children here last February and we were supposed to move down by the summer.  We had a lot of delays and we just got moved down here a few weeks ago.  Its 17 hrs. away from where we moved from and it is my first time being away from my family.  I have a twin sister, a niece, and my mother who i am really closed to and miss them all dearly.  Also keep in mind I left all my friends and have no one except for him and his two small children.  I am starting school and getting ajob . Basically having to start all over . Which I knew all of this before I moved but I love him  sooo much and he is so amazing.  Me and his son get along great, but one thing i disagree with is he does not dicipline his children the right way. They are very spoiled and get every thing they want.  His son whines and cries like a baby until he gives in which I do not agree with!!!  For the most part the problems are not with his son they are with his 10 yr. old daughter.  The 19 yr. old stayed back in Illinois.  The 10 yr. old is like 20 in the mind she is very smart and knows way too much for her age!!!  We get along sometimes and ihave tried everything i possibly could but she just wont listen!  She is a daddy's girl and is jealous of anyone else he shows attention too including her own siblings!!  The way she is constantly disrespecting me irritates me so bad, especially on top of all the other stresses I am having with the move!  I have talked to her and him, we all sat down together and talked it seems like nothing is working!  With her being so jealous its like we can't cuddle on the couch together, kiss, hold hands, etc. w/o her saying, "oh my god! Get a room!" then stomp away to her room!  So now it feels like he doesn't show me any attention at all just to please his children!!!! What about me? Not trying to sound like a child but what about my feelings? I have no friends to go hang out with or family, he is all i have I get no attention because his children don't want to share!  I feel so alone and unwanted... I think that maybe if I at least had a job or some friends it would be a little better which I am currently looking for a job!!! I will be starting school this summer also, so I know I will soon make some friends!!!  I think also if me and him could have some alone time things would be better!!!  We have been here for three weeks and the children have been with us ever since we got here and I think it'll be this way often.  Even though they have 50/50 custody they pretty much let the children decide where they want to be.  Which is cool I guess, if they ever wanted to go to their mothers!!!  Which I know is horrible of me to say but I miss our alone time!  I am not used to them being with us all the time and i don't know how to address my boyfriend with this issue...  He is already very defensive when I try to talk to him about his daughter being disrespectful towards me.  I think if he wants me to be a part of his family that my opinion or how i feel about things should definitely matter..

kaylibaby14 kaylibaby14
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 19, 2010

I can also relate to your story.... You are sooo young!! Get gone while you can or you will regret it, believe me!

i can relate on you story..<br />
i'm 21 and my boyfriend is 43 he have three kids...twins 14 years old and 7..<br />
i hope i can talk to you in private..<br />
i need some friend who will understand me and at the same time who can give me advice when i need..<br />
just add me here<br />

Thanks, gingernut!!! This was extremely great 2 hear! I felt like a horrible person for feeling this way!! I am going to try and sit down and have a talk with my boyfriend! if he truly loves me and wants me here (which i most definitely think he does) then he will accept what i have to say!