I Can't Stand My Husbands Child.

When I first met my husband Jay I was pregnant and the father had already denied the child, I was 19 and scared and had no support.  Jay had a child already but was still finishing up a divorce. He told me at the beginning that he was not ready for another child, but wanted to date me any how. I fell in love with him, but he cheated on me once when I was still pregnant, and again after I gave birth, then he broke up with me. I had no where to go and no way to support my child, so I gave her up in an open adoption, while still in the process of giving her up,he came to me wanting me back. I eventually caved, even though he still did not want anything to do with my child. I still had no way to support her so I found her a wonderful family who lets me see her when I want. He went on to prove to me that he would be faithful, though I still have my doubts. 

Now, I can not stand the sight of his daughter and I don't know what to do. I must sound awful but that is how I feel. He pays child support and it is so much that he only brings home about 100 every other week. We live with his father and I know that as long as he has to pay child support, we will have no chance to have a family of our own. 

This is causing us to fall apart and we have come so far, I don't want it to end like this, but I have no idea how to to handle this.

I must sound stupid, but I love him and he loves me and I want it to work between us.

xena2020 xena2020
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 4, 2010

I think the problem comes from you. His only influence was what he said to you and how he made you feel. What you did with what he said and did was entirely up to you. He shouldn't of had that much power over you, his daughter isnt to blame for her father or your decision. You both knew what you were walking into when you got together. Clearly he has more influence on your life than you have on his. Cos he does whatever he wants and you do whatever he wants too. Its not his childs fault because her father hurt you. grow up and accept responsibilty for your own actions. Hating a child is a choice.