Consumed With Jealousy

I recently split with my wife of 9 years.

We have two children. A 2 yo boy and a 10yo girl.

I have full care of our daughter and she has full care of our son.

Upon separating, our finances and expenses changed dramatically.

She now lives elsewhere paying a measly $100. a week for rent. (which includes electric and water)

I am stuck paying $300. until the lease runs out.

I pay electric and water on top of that.  I am stuck with both cable tv and internet cause they are on contracts.

There is no work whatsoever available in my area and am only getting $400 a week from the government.  My wife gets $500.  I am required to look for work in order to keep getting the money.  My wife is on a Dissability Pension and is not required to look for work.Her only expense is food and rent.

She is constantly throwing her money around, getting taxis, buying jewelry, getting her nails done.  She is always buying toys and clothes for our son and gets nothing for our daughter.I am struggling to make ends meet and don't remember the last time I bought myself something.

I am literally riddled and consumed with jealousy. It picks away at my brain. I wish I could get over it but I can't.  I feel it unjust that me and my daughter struggle whilst me wife lives it up.