I Am Jealous Of Others Having A "happy Family"

Thinking upon it, I realized that the issue that makes me frustrated in my life is having a not-so-happy family. If I may share my story briefly, my parents would always fight. My mom, specifically, has grown impatient and frustrated because of my father. In all fairness to my mom, I can't blame. I can see her point. Dad is not that of an ideal husband or father. Mom would always tell stories about their marriage, and while I, the youngest son and unfortunately staying inside our home most of the time, have no choice but to listen to her stories of frustration, so as to help her ease the pain or madness or whatever she has inside her. What she doesn't know is that, the more that she tells me how she is not happy with Dad at all, the more that I grew unhappy with my life in our family. It's making me feel that I was a fruit of a marriage without love. I don't know if my older brother thinks the same way, but I think he is because he also hear these things either from Mom or Dad.


Now I think I finally reached the limit. A while ago, I was checking out my FB newsfeed and I saw a picture from a Facebook friend. It shows their family, all wearing a smile, and you can see that they really love each other, especially his mom and dad who are obviously happy and caring for each other. My Facebook friend is a lucky man. His family are Christians, and I can see that he can shout thanks and praises to the Lord for everything, from little up to very big things that's happening in his life......while I can't even talk to God without all the bitterness and frustrations inside me..... I am jealous of him for having a very good family, and I am also jealous of my friends who have parents that love each other. I cannot wish the same for my parents anymore, they are now old and so I am. I am in my teen years now and my Mom expects me to understand these things and take these as if nothing worth "saddening" exists in my life.

If I can just make a bargain or something with God. People say that I am smart, well I think I can trade it in exchange for a happy family and make my parents love each other so that I can feel thankful for everything. I can also trade any skills, talents, money or whatever I have for that. A while ago I was breaking out in tears, I know I am very desperate and very sorry for what my feelings have ended into.

I wanted to share this to someone, and the first people I can think of is my family, but no, I can''t just tell them these things especially that it's all pertaining to them. Not a good idea. I can't also talk about this to my friends because I don't want others to talk about us, and it's not my behavior to open up even to my friends on this kind of thing.

Maybe I can get over with this, and if he Lord cannot hear my wish for now, I wish I can just move on and get away with the sad memories. I have things to do, and I have something in my mind that I dream to reach. I can't go for it with these frustrations I have in my life. I need the help of someone, especially to God, more than ever. :(
MichaelPhillip MichaelPhillip
18-21
4 Responses Feb 18, 2012

I know how you feel. I don't have any photo of me and my family that make us look like the perfect family, and if I did have pictures like that, it would be a huge lie. Your mom shouldn't talk to you about her marriage problems. She needs a friend to talk to about that kind of stuff. It's wrong for her to talk to her own son about it, since you're too involved in the situation and it's just awkward!

Hmmm...ok there it is! Nevermind!<br />
Good Luck to you! <br />
Life can be a struggle, but your only young!<br />
Go out and enjoy yourself!!!

Can you see the comment I made? I can't see it...?

First of all, facebook itself can make you sad. <br />
People see happy smiling faces of others and think that thier life is perfect. Please do not believe this. No family or relationship is perfect. Just because they are smiling and happy, does not mean they do not have thier own issues.<br />
They say that if we all threw our problems into a big pile, you'd take yours back instead of anyone elses.<br />
It sucks to feel sad or unhappy or depressed, but it's all in your mind. <br />
The more you think about the sad negative things in life, of course you'll be sad. <br />
Try to change your way of thinking into the happy, positive parts of your life. It may take awhile, and you'll have bad days too, but without those bad days we wouldnt have good days.<br />
Life is not easy, but yours could be alot worse.<br />
Be thankful that you have a mom...and a dad...and they are together...and they are healthy. They love you and have given you a good life.<br />
<br />
We are all struggling in this world and we are all human. <br />
Your parents are probably doing the best with what they have, and do not mean to make you unhappy with thier thoughts or feelings. I'm sure all they want for you is to be happy.<br />
Be thankful for what you have and make the best of what you have and tell yourself that often because people can overthink, they can overthink negatively, and if you continue to do that, you'll end up down a dark, sad lonely road. It doesnt have to be that way. Life is what YOU make it!!