I'm Jealous Of A Traumatized Girl In Protected Living

I know this girl. She's a few years older than me, and she's been through some seriously painful things (rape, abuse, ED, bad medical treatment...), and these days she lives in some kind of "Protected Living" complex. She has her own studio and a pet, she has to cook for herself and manage the budget she is given to buy herself the things she needs, and she has a whole team (shrink, psych nurse, "team leader", support people) to help her with her mental issues. Of course, that team of people she shares with others in the complex, but all the same they still are there for her.

I am jealous.
I am jealous and angry.

I read this girl's blog, and I see how she struggles -and whines about her struggle- and all I can think about is how ******* happy I would be if I would be in her place. I know it's so damn wrong, but I can't help it. I wish I would be in a place like that. No responsibilities. No external strain. To live on your own and not have to care for anyone but yourself, and not even have to do a lot of effort for that. I'm so jealous I can scream!

What the **** is wrong with me?
Quantumphysica Quantumphysica
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Why? You can create the surcumstances she has all by your self, the things you want from her is not the project itself, it's the excuse to leave it all.
You don't like the people around you. You can leave them and get a job and live on your own.

There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone would like to take a free ride to Easy St., but the price your friend is paying to get there, is a very expensive fare. You still have yourself intact, you can think clearly and with goals in sight, can your friend say the same ?

Often we are jealous because of a lifestyle or quality we admire. Apart from the horrible things, it does sound like a pretty good set up. Maybe you admire the independence she has or the support she gets. I think it's good to be there for her and support her, but understandable that she seems to have things going for her and it can be exhausting constantly trying to be supportive. Maybe you also have things in life you are not happy with, so I would take a look at where you can get more independence and support in your life.

What is ED ?

Considering all the abuse she had to get there, it might not be so rosy after all.

I have never heard of this living arrangement. Is it permanent ?
Or is it a temporary arrangement ?
Does she get money to spend , can she work or is she confined to her home ?

Eating Disorder.
I think it's semi-permanent, she's not obliged to stay there. She lives on state benefits, but she is allowed to work and allowed to leave her home. She even has a few hobbies... which she attends when she's not feeling too suicidal... *rolls eyes*

hmmmmmm, I don't mind helping people that need help, but only if it is a crutch. Not a lifestyle. It's lucky for your gf that you and I aren't in charge of qualifying people.........:)