I Worry That

my life isn't going to turn out how i'd like it to.

i am at a crossroads in my life, i must choose my college, my career choice, for goddsake, i must choose who to trust.. again.

my life will never be easy again.
its scary.

i'm afraid that nobody loves me.
i'm afraid that nobody will love me.

i'm afraid to end up on a freeway exit with a sign that says "single mother, spare change?"
---or---
"failed actress, sympathy dollars?"

i dont know where i'm going.

i am afraid that i will be bankrupt for a long time.
i am afraid that i will be in financial distress forever.

i am afraid that i may have to use my parents as my crutch for much, much longer than i hoped.

As of one month ago, i am an adult, one who must take the blame for every inhalation of marijuana, for every lawsuit, for every dollar not earned, for every promise not kept, for every
single
one
of
my
(so-called)shortcomings.

i am scared that Sam is using me, that i am LETTING him, possibly.
i am scared that nothing is going to happen the way i want it to.

i wont stop, and i cant stop, all these worries and fears from getting to me
gruneaugen gruneaugen
18-21, F
1 Response Apr 1, 2007

Dont worry about deciding what you want to do for a career right now. I have talked to people in graduate school and they aren't even all sure what they want. You are still young, I am 20 years old living at home going to a community college. Dont feel bad for asking your parents for help. My father lived at home until he was 24 or so after getting his degree.<br />
<br />
As long as you keep strong and get a degree you will be able to find a decent job. Then you will start to get a good income. No one is in good financial standing at your age, especially college students! Most college students experience poverty one point in time, its just apart of life. <br />
<br />
Believe it or not things never really happen how we want them too, its just life but life finds a way. <br />
<br />
Try not to worry, take one day at a time.