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Small Victory

I hosted my first party last night.

While married, he insisted on determining the guest list, creating the menu, cooking the food, and planning the activities (and yet he considered them "our" parties...lol).

Everyone had a great time. One woman commented that her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Another begged that I host another get-together soon.

I need to learn to give myself the chance to discover of what I am capable. It's that fear of the unknown that stops me. I have to fight the fear. Last night was wonderful. Next summer, once the lake is ready for boating, is going to be incredible. I'm developing a great group of friends.
PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 23, 2012

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Back when I was a student I remember someone amongst my trainers or professors coming out with "freedom is a scary thing". For some reason it's stuck in my mind ever since, despite the fact, or maybe because at the time the desirability of freedom was Just Plain Obvious to me and I could not GET why people would find it scary.

Over the years I have come to understand. Observed so many people who prefer being caged to the fear of being free.

Your ex has so stifled you over the years, belittled you, criticized you, taken away whatever chance you might've had to grow and develop as much as he could, tried to keep you small and unable to deal with so much - for whatever reason, conscious or unconscious, we can speculate 'til the cows come home but it will never be more than (educated) guesses.

Now here you are, and suddenly the fear of that scary thing freedom has caught up with you in recent weeks. And, welcome to the world of the free: here you are and some of the perks have caught up with you also {huge smile}. Congratulations.

Trust me, the scariness will disappear by and by, the perks won't, unless you let them slip through your hands by not living mindfully. The perks will get bigger and better the more you grow into that new space.

big hug, -P.

When I stepped out of my marriage it was like I was slipping on a new persona. I was still me, but I was somehow stronger. Being in a bad relationship has a way of imperceptibly pushing you down into yourself, I think. Stepping up and out feels amazing. And the fact that you are attracting such nice people to yourself (as am I) means that it is not our imagination--the real us is shining through; it's love and it is a beautiful thing. Congratulations.

Thank you (and congratulations to you as well!) When I tell my "new life" people that I used to consider myself an introvert, their jaws drop. You're right...it does feel amazing.

Hi. I followed miss Q here.

Now, I am a guy. A little OC maybe according to other's perspectives but to me these are simply standards.

I cook, clean, cater, iron, etc for the occasions because I do not wish to fight about standards so, I do it myself.

She could, however call this stifling, oppressive and a string of bad descriptors.

It is a royal F up and so the only logical conclusion is that people like me should be alone and happily so.

The problem is that women find the precision that is around us to be attractive so, they make overtures and they love being there until they decide, one day, that it is overbearing and oppressive.

So, I tell them that I am not available but that hardly works.........

I know that a relationship, for me, is an exercise in futility. The end game is pre determined.

love and peace
b