My marriage crumbled over three years ago. It actually ended long before that, but I did not want to accept that fact. I then entered into a series of short meaningless relationships.

Last summer I thought I met the man I would be with till the end. I fell deep and hard, despite the red flags glaring in my face. Once again I would not see the reality of the situation, but only saw what I wanted to see.

That relationship ended a few months ago. I am proud that I did not take him back despite being tempted many lonely nights. I have not fallen back to one night stands and FWB's as I had after my marriage ended. Instead, I have allowed myself to feel pain. To cry night after night.

This may not sound like a good thing, but it is the best thing. We live in a world of quick fixes and drugs to numb us from feeling. I need to feel this... need to shed these tears... to learn to love myself enough to be alone. I need to learn to be alone without being lonely. I still cry many nights... still struggle with depression and loneliness. However, I am taking baby steps and finding myself appreciating the freedom I once embraced. I am going to learn that I am good enough for me.... good enough for me to love.
skk1966 skk1966
51-55, F
1 Response Aug 26, 2014

Those are strong words and will make you stronger. Just don't miss out on living. Find "what" you love and the "who" will follow

Thank you...