Becoming A Fully Alive Human

Wow - I've made a lot of progress. I should have since I'm 47 years old now - get upset from time to time with all that time wasted. When I look at my life - I'm way way better than how my life should have been, how it started out. Thank you, God!
My first step was to go to counseling on my son's 1st birthday to be a good mommy. He is 20 now and we have a very good relationship - he understands boundaries better than me, so that must mean I gave him room to be. My 18 year old daughter has good boundaries - not afraid to say no or show her emotions - so thankful!
A huge huge huge step I made almost 4 years ago was to tell my parents they couldn't come back to my home until they tell me they'd respect me - they bully me to this day. They've never agreed to that. I quit basically begging - explaining it a hundred different ways why I needed this. My Mom finally answered in an e-mail, "No, I love you, you have all you need." My Mom knows certain emotional things are needed for growth - she has a masters degree in education - which shows how mean she is, I guess. I haven't seen them since then. Sometimes I battle guilt. They are getting old, but then I have to remind myself that it's their decision to make and I'm worth not being bullied and disrespected. God is in control of death - not me. I need to accept my parents decision, no matter how badly it hurts. They never accepted my love - this still bring tears to my eyes. If they ever miss me enough and humble themselves, I can then see them.
Thanks for the support I know that I'll be getting from this group.
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Dec 3, 2012