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I'm Done Going Without

I was 16 when I got married.  And we have been together for 30 years.  For the majority of these years the only time my sexual needs are met is when I start getting a bad attitude due to the sexual frustration, we attempted marriage counseling when we were first married and the one thing I remember from that attempt was his belief that the woman should not initiate sex.
The pain of being rejected time and time again but knowing he is getting off to his barely legal teen images has become to much to handle.  Our children are grown and I have recently reconnected with a childhood friend whose wife has recently passed away, our friendship has turned into more.  We are both lonely and have fallen deeply in love.
He lives on the other side of the country and I am in pain that I will be leaving my children and grandchildren so far behind, but looking forward to a life of love and intimacy.  I have to try this my biggest fear anymore that I will die with this horrible emptiness and loneliness inside of me.
Now if I could just get away from the guilt.
dakota65 dakota65 46-50 3 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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Honey, any man who believes a woman should not initiate sex is a sexist. He should be living in Iraq or Iran where women have no rights, maybe that would make him happy. I dont blame you for leaving, I would too. I bet hes so anal he probably has a list of things woman shouldnt do. A good example is him looking at barely legal ****, but I bet you would be shamed for admiring a naked man on line!!!! Dont feel guilty dear you have tried and endured this hurtful behavior for way too long. Everyone is entitled to happiness. If you asked me yours is llloooonnnngggg over due. Give this other connection you have made a try. A word to the wise: Let this one know up front what you want from this relationship, and ask him what he wants. In my experience being up front or a little forward can save you alot of heartache and pain. I wish you good luck and hope you get what you are looking for.

The same thing happened to me, and I have left my marriage of 38 years ( more than 25 years of them without any intimacy or emotional connection). Not to say it is right, but the alternative for me was a living death.

go forward and never look back..i don't know why our spouses are satisfied and determined to live with so little,,but for what ever reason they are...Accept the fact..that you did your best..try as hard as you did..it got you no where..So now you move on to a new beginning...and may it be blessed with love, and an apreciation of each other.