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Moving On And Hopefully Up!

I came to the decision to separate from my wife while were apart this Christmas. I have been looking into the details and am not sure if we should separate first to cool off, ot just outright divorce. I don't see our relationship going anywhere... But I hurt for the 16 years we spent together in so much turmoil. I don't wish her any (much) ill-will, but we have not accomplished much in counseling. Is it possible to find a woman to love that will love me back at my age? (51)

I am looking forward to meeting someone, not begging for attention or sex, trusting someone again... Is this possible, or is it just wishful thinking? I have the courage now to find out. I do feel old, but there must a decent woman out there for me.

Thoughts anybody?
cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 6 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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do you have a superb sense Iof humour. I can't tell from your writing but the photo you chose to identify with - really? A 20 something man with a 6 pack? what is your message?

you have brains, you write well - change the photo to a left frontal lobe.

Lol... Actuall the pic is a 42 year old... But not me! I'm athletic , but not THAT athletic. Thanks!

Well My husband is 51 and he found someone right away, and I'm 48 going to be 49 on Feb 15, and I hope to some day find someone as well. It's never to late in your life to find happiness. The trick is we have to want it. My I can understand were you are coming from. Keep in touch if you need someone to chat with, I will be around. js4liz

c, you will find someone. take your time. rediscover yourself. your likes, dislikes, must haves, absolute "no" cannot do's, how you like your living space, daily routines, etc. and yes there is hope. you are far from alone. i will be walking the same path eventually. tons of women out there in our age bracket. chin up. it will be hard at times. when it is...remind yourself how rough it HAS been, and where you could/would have been, if you stayed in a miserable situation.

off course your in the best age, a lot of women are in the same situation as you, where it is their husband that is gay or not interested in them, you just got to meet one and fall in love, you will then know it was right and learn that passion exists, just be smart and choose with all your mind and heart so you will not make a mistake one more time. be very sensitive if you know how to.

Thanks, everyone here keeps my spirits up and me hope full.

Think of it as you have only lived half of your life and it only get better from here on out. 51 is the perfect age your not to old my love is 51 and recently divorced i'm 40 he is so awesome. happy living

Thanks that was uplifting. I feel a bit bitter and distressed about not being with someone. Being alone is very uncomfortable for me... so is being sexless!

Friend, your decision is made I think. If you dream of being on your own, if you feel lonely even when you are lying next to someone, if you think of a life with other women, its over. You need to see the separation and divorce through. I was married for 19 years and the last 3 were terrible. That was 4 years ago. I loved being married but I just got tired of being unhappy and being told I should leave and being second guessed at everything I did. If you leave, it will be hard, the first year might be ok, but one of you will meet someone else and then it will all turn to custard for awhile. Thats because you cant help feeling betrayed if they are with someone else, and neither can your ex. My advice, don't try to hard to find someone else. Spend some quality time on your own or with your mates. Work out, run, travel, anything that is about you. You will soon find that as you feel more confident, women will see you more. You can have alot of fun at our age. What you must not do is waste time. Time is the one thing you can't get back. You don't want to be back here in 3 years time saying you wasted those 3 years !!!. Good luck friend. R

Thanks, that is great advice and I intend to take it!
Too right
CV