I Am Leaving a Sexless Marriage
OK- here's my current sad story...
My husband is truly clueless. It's been about a month since he moved out. First it was oh sad times, I want you back! So, I feel sentimental and think- well, maybe he really wants to work this out. He's the one who mentioned lets see a marriage counselor. Overall I don't miss him much. Once in a while I do. When we do talk it's like we don't have much conversation. We have really drifted apart. It's amazing how much I'm starting to hate him. I cut our conversations short- I guess I really thought for a split second that he may actually care and want to work this out. Because that's what he said anyway. I hate him for not giving a **** or even trying. If he really loved me (I know this sounds ridiculous) wouldn't he have tried? I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth so why bother talking to him...I love you, I want to work this out, I want you to be happy, I realize I need to compromise...are all lines of ****! I thought I would call him today just to see how he was doing- and it's like I was just calling a friend. Nothing more. Isn't that something- I'm not sure why I still seem surprised or shocked by any of this. I figured he would have missed me. I think he did for maybe a week. Once he got settled it's like he doesn't care. I have lived in the dysfunctional relationship forever. We have always had our issues. I really want and desire to be in some sort of relationship. I really want to be in a relationship of some kind. I can't help myself. I don't need anyone but I enjoy having somebody. Guess I'm needy. I can't help but feel like even when I was living with my husband it's like I wasn't really in a relationship. All of this proves that leaving him as hard as it was for ME anyway was and is for the best. I just feel so unloved. Why did I stick around for so long? It's great that he was a friend-my best friend. Why couldn't it have been more? And now, I feel like my best friend is slipping away too. I just feel so alone.
