He's Halfway Gone

Today - the day my H was supposed to start moving out - I found him this morning playing on the computer, no significant packing done. 

I cancelled my appointments at work, cut off the Internet at our house (I'm the techie around here) and started packing.  That got him into action.  He even said "thank you" which he doesn't often say.  I know I shouldn't have packed for him, but I could just see "the move" dragging on for days, weeks. 

Very interesting - he said he had some friends coming to help him move boxes.  The person who turned up was the woman I'd caught him sending romantic e-mails to 5 years ago.  He started moving at twice the speed once she was present.  At that point I figured he was in good hands, and I went out and met a friend for lunch, and stayed out of the house a few more hours doing errands and groceries. 

If the two of them have got something going, I sincerely hope it works out.  He sure wasn't happy with me for the last 12 years, and despite everything, I care enough for him to want him to be happy. 


Chai07 Chai07
51-55, F
7 Responses Dec 4, 2009

I had not looked at this story in more than a year, since I wrote it. Thank you for your kind comments, S4S. <br />
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An update: My ex and I have met for breakfast a couple of times since he moved out. I haven't really heard from him at all in the last 6 months, except when I forward phone messages, e-mail or mail to him. I applied for divorce as soon as the one-year waiting period was up; he offered no ob<x>jection. I still hope he will find happiness - but in retrospect, I don't think he ever will. I now believe he "enjoys" being depressed and miserable the way some people "enjoy" ill health. <br />
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I haven't missed him for one second. I miss his parents; they are sweet people who treated me like a daughter and I am sure they were devastated by our breakup. <br />
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At some point I'll have to meet him and let him know I'm moving away from the area; I also need to give him his share of the photo albums. <br />
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When I wrote this story on Dec 4, 2009, I had absolutely no idea what was in store for me in 2010 - it's turned out to be "all good".

I really admire you!<br />
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For me, I do not want to hate my wife. I don't think she will ever be happy and that is really sad, but I can't continue to suffer because of it!<br />
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I know it will be very hard for me because once this divorce starts I will need to find a very good balance between taking the high road and the,"don't you screw with me!" road.<br />
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Trust me from what I have seen, you are thinking right! I know too many bitter people that are still hung up on HATING their Xs years later and it does nothing to help them as people!!<br />
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Good too see you are above that!


Try to do some nice things for yourself during this hard time. I was nice to my ex, and his stuff, you have to live with yourself, so do what you feel is right. Try to look forward with hope, and take pleasure in small things that you like, like hot baths, pretty jewelry, etc.

I can understand trying to keep things calm and low-key... this is someone you cared enough about to marry. The feelings aren't cut and dried... the emotional and financial ties take time to sort and separate... breaking up doesn't mean becoming enemies for life. We've still got two kids to raise together... just not as man and wife.

Chai and Magna, both of you are such good, kind ladies. You would have every reason to be angry and bitter, but you have chosen to take the high road. I admire you both!

At least yours packed. Mine...well lets just say I'm still surrounded by his ****...far as the eye can see. All he managed to do was take what he needs "now"...because he's couch surfing until the end of the month and has no place to put it and I'm a sucker and won't throw is things in the street.