One day soon I will have everything i want, everything you couldn't give me but promised me for the last 4 years. The simple things like understanding, attention, love. In the past4 years you have given me all money can buy, nice house, nice car, but nothing thati wanted, and nothing that you promised. One dayi will find someone who isn't so close minded and closed off. One dayi will be able to speak freely with out being criticized for what I'm talking about as if I'm at work andi shouldn't be talking about things that aren't work appropriate. One dayi will be able to takea walk or jog with my partner, because they will take care of themselves and be healthy. One dayi will quit smoking because i want to and you won't be there telling me "just have a cigarette, you're getting on my nerves". One day my son will see what a real man is, and how there are other words available to use beside ****, ****, and *****. One day my son will see that real men "scream like girls" and"run like girls" too because we are all the same and all have feelings and insecurities. One day I will have a loving partner, who knows life is about more than just hiding behind your job, anti depressants, and valiums. One dayi will be a single mom, and really be single instead of this literal graveyard shift. I am not the reason you are dead inside and there is nothingi can do to help you. One day I won't Harbor the guilt of the failure becausei know this is letting you down. But when everythingi do is a let down, no matter how hard i try, what's the use. I'm not too good at being a people pleaser, I used to but you've depleted all my energy. I learnt that being a people pleaser doesn't matter anyways. Nothing changes. One day i will havea fresh start, one day it will all make sense and I will thank myself for being so brave.
hotinaz13 hotinaz13
31-35, F
Aug 24, 2014