Hating It

i always experience this whenever i enter an arguement. during a fight, i keep quiet, as if my mouth has been taped. but inside me, there are lots of things i want to let out. i dont know why are always trapped. that's why i have no defense in fights. that's why i always lose. few moments after the arguement, i'll regret why i didnt say those things inside me. maybe if i defended myself, i could have also build my self esteem. i wanted to improve this characteristic of mine so i wont get kicked around in the future.

mhel0w8 mhel0w8
22-25, F
4 Responses Mar 9, 2010

never thought of it that way. cause everytime i get into that situation, my anger is the first one that overflows, so i cant control it, still, i dont know how to let it out. that's my problem, i'm physically calm, but nobody has an idea that something's already exploding inside me. i'm calm. too calm, that's why everybody's abusing it.

It might help you next time you find yourself getting into a heated situation, to learn some tactics to diffuse the situation before it escalates into a full argument. You could say 'I'm sorry but I am not prepared to fight with you because you arent listening to what I have to say'.There's nothing to gain by 'winning' as there are no real winners if two people rant at each other. If someone insists on shouting in your face, try to zone out from their aggression and think about concisely getting your point across without accusations, slander or malice. Try speaking calmly and think that just because the person is shouting at you, it doesnt mean that they are right, or that everyone around you thinks that they are either. I believe that fear holds us back in these situations, so try to remember that you are entirely capable of controlling the length of time you stay within the situation. If you feel uncomfortable, get out and give yourself time to think about what you would like to say next. With a little practice on not being afraid of confrontation, I'm sure you will be able to hold your own and resolve your troubles without feeling unheard. Good luck :)

no i think it's better that way?! you have the courage to defend yourself without some fear holding back. that way, i wouldn't let anyone step on me.

you're actually lucky! I wish I had that! like whenever I get into an arguement, I keep blabing making the situation worse. ):