He Doesnt Deserve Seeing This.

I think that I am not welcomed anymore, but that may just be in my head. I think so, because I am emotionally broken and this man that is providing for me doesnt deserve to be around to see me fall apart. As it is he has already seen me cutting myself, and I dont think he is used to being around someone with the problems that I have, because he ran up to me trying to doctor all the cuts on my legs and said I am going to call someone to help you, I am going to call some kind of place for you to get better. I can understand that this man is concerned by my actions, but the way he reacted was so strange to me.. I thought that he was overwhelmed at that point, he just keep frantically cleaning my cuts and rambling on and on. I never seen that before in my life.

I just dont think he deserves to see that going on, he dont understand what is going on, why I am acting like this. I am sure that soon he will have that talk that he always says that he will have with me when he thinks that I am back on drugs and I honestly dont want to be here for it. I am ready to go back now, I mean I got out of the crackhouse that I was in because I was pregnant and now that I am not and have no child either. I am ready to go back, because I truly think that I deserve to live like a ***** again. I should just go back to my ex because when he starts to hit me again, I will deserve every blow he gives me. I just need to leave this man alone, he shouldnt have to witness what is going on right now..