He Doesnt Deserve Seeing This.

I think that I am not welcomed anymore, but that may just be in my head. I think so, because I am emotionally broken and this man that is providing for me doesnt deserve to be around to see me fall apart. As it is he has already seen me cutting myself, and I dont think he is used to being around someone with the problems that I have, because he ran up to me trying to doctor all the cuts on my legs and said I am going to call someone to help you, I am going to call some kind of place for you to get better. I can understand that this man is concerned by my actions, but the way he reacted was so strange to me.. I thought that he was overwhelmed at that point, he just keep frantically cleaning my cuts and rambling on and on. I never seen that before in my life.

I just dont think he deserves to see that going on, he dont understand what is going on, why I am acting like this. I am sure that soon he will have that talk that he always says that he will have with me when he thinks that I am back on drugs and I honestly dont want to be here for it. I am ready to go back now, I mean I got out of the crackhouse that I was in because I was pregnant and now that I am not and have no child either. I am ready to go back, because I truly think that I deserve to live like a ***** again. I should just go back to my ex because when he starts to hit me again, I will deserve every blow he gives me. I just need to leave this man alone, he shouldnt have to witness what is going on right now..
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
1 Response May 25, 2012

Stay with someone who cares about you.<br />
It'll be a first.<br />
Ask him how he feels. It sounds like he wants to help you.<br />
<br />
It's your mom's brainwashing making you want to go back. REALLY.<br />
PLEASE do not go back!<br />
Your mom's an evil *****, and she's programmed a copy of herself into your head.<br />
If you listen to your mom's voice in your head, and then do the complete opposite while telling that voice to go **** itself? <br />
That would be best. <br />
Let her voice be what you don't do, ok?<br />
<br />
Nobody deserves to be a sex slave and punching bag, ok?<br />
Not you, not anybody.