That Man, That Man!

I met an awesome human being, completely aware of himself and the world around him. He has more figured out than the average man, and he's more in tune with himself than most people. In the short time we've known each other he's taught me so much about myself and helped me reach parts of my spiritual consciousness that would've taken forever for me to seek out had I never met him. He made me a more well rounded human being and he's brought nothing but positive into my life. He can be a bit brash, he is very blunt, in your face and to the point. Those traits I don't mind and I don't think are negatives because they push a person to look into themselves and bring out the best. BUT I handle interactions a little different, he respects that and doesn't try to force me to go about handling things his way, so I show the common courtesy of doing the same. Besides he's very respectful so...anywho we're at different places in our lives and that's why our love can't be. Had I started this journey 10 years ago like he did we'd be talking marriage and children , right now, undoubtedly, but things are the way they are and I have a lot more to do, experience, and figure out before I can be where he is. We could sync together harmoniously but I'm aware just as much as he is that we're on the same path in different times, like Andy said on Weeds "Two trains on the same track moving at different speeds. Going to the same destination but they will never meet". We met for a reason this is true. But it wasn't of the romantic nature, I asked to be pushed further along in my path and to be shown clarity, he helped me progress at warp speed but still not fast enough to meet him where he is at, I still have a way to go before I get to that point, and by the time I get there, he will have moved on for a while. I hope one day we can relink as friends but right now I must separate from him, I've intertwined him with my journey almost like they're one in the same. I must separate in order to move to the next level which is knowing myself fully, and if I'm constantly stepping away from that to soak up all of him when we are together, I'll just keep throwing myself two steps back, and it's time to move forward. I honestly, genuinely, and unconditionally love him, love him enough to let him go and do what our relationship was designed to get me to do. Know myself fully, get clarity on my life's purpose, and manifest that. Rid myself of all of the fear and distraction that were holding me back and blinding me to the past. He took those blinders off and forced me to do some real soul searching and self confrontation, for that I am forever grateful but not indebted. He doesn't want me to feel that way and neither do I, that's what makes him wonderful, he wanted me to grow and make progress in my life for my benefit, not his. He saw what I needed and he gave it to me with no interest in personal gain, he just wanted me to have what I was looking for, what I asked for. What a wonderful man he is. I will always love him and care for him, I will remember him, but we...can never be...will never be. I'm at peace with that and so is he, and that's okay with me.
Lilacprincess295 Lilacprincess295
22-25, F
Sep 20, 2012