Dazed And ..confused?

So I'm debating whether or not I'm bi.... I really like guys but I find some girls attractive but the girls i find attractive look like boys? Does that mean I'm straight? I personally don't care whether it's a boy or girl so does that make me pansexual? Somebody please help me give me some advice.


Sincerely, dazed and confused.
nicoleelizabeth11 nicoleelizabeth11
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 12, 2012

From my angle, I would consider you identifying as pansexual. However, labels are just labels. You don't need a label to define who and what you like. I would just go with it! You don't need that pressure of a label to dictate who you are attracted to.

Perhaps this will help:

Asexual: little to no sexual attraction to others or interest in sexual activity.
Bisexual: is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or behavior toward males and females
Heterosexual: is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or behavior between persons of opposite sex or gender in the gender binary.
Homosexual: is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual activity between members of the same sex or gender.
Pansexual: is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward persons of all gender identities and biological sexes
Polysexual: is the attraction to multiple genders and/or sexes but not necessarily all identities.

I am Pansexual. I am dating a MTF crossdresser. I was married to a straight male for several years. I had a relationship with a woman for a while and I spent my high school years in love with my best [female] friend while dating a guy. There is no real reason to attach a label to yourself, especially as it can just open you to ridicule and if you aren't real sure or are worried how others will see you I wouldn't worry about choosing one.

My theory, and I have been putting a lot of research into this is that rather than a line with hetero at one end and homo at the other end (like the Kinsey scale suggests) it's more like a cross (sort of like the political scale). Kinsey doesn't take into account gender recognition which is what I attached to the intersecting line. Some see themselves as very femme (whether straight, gay, male or female) and others see themselves as very butch (using the same indicators). Everyone else fits somewhere in the middle to some degree.

I hope this helps. If you have questions, feel free to ask. It may sound confusing here.

I have gay/bi friends who only are drawn to "girls who look like boys". We are affectionatly refered to as Boi's around where I live. It really doesn't mean you are pansexual, it is your preference and not all that uncommon. I'm sure there are lots of people who are attracted to blonds, or body types so being attracted to more masculin presenting beings is just what you prefer.

There is more to being pansexual than not caring about being female or male. That's more along the lines of bisexual. Bisexuals are attracted to the two sexes of female and male... Pansexuals are normally gender blind, they don't see man, woman, trans, androgynous, etc.

And if the women you like are on the manlier side, maybe you're into the "butch" women. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, that is not my intention.

If gender does not matter to you in anyway, shape, or form, then I'd say you're probably pan. But this is really something for you to decide for yourself.