Desperate Housewife (for Lack Of A Better Term)

      I am a young woman who has spent my whole adult life with one man. We have 2 children, plus I raised other son since he was a tot. There has been a lot of fighting and tension over the years, but a lot of good too. I was once in love with him and I still love him. He is the father of my children and he loves me without condition. But I don't feel the same. I don't want to leave him, but I do want more. I am not getting fulfilled emotionally or sexually. When I have tried to address these issues, he says I am living in an imaginary and superficial world. I am not. There is more passion and connectedness to be had. Within the last 6 months or so, there has been an underlying, quite subtle flirtation between my son's pediatrician and me. I certainly never imagined I would ever take it beyond that. However, just 5 days ago at my son's appointment, this man told me how much he was attracted to me and wished to see me outside of these appointments. I concurred and we saw each other the next day. I, of course, had my boys, so we were only able to talk and get to know one another a little better. We then planned on getting together yesterday, which was better than expected. I dropped my older son off at school, and my youngest was asleep by the time I met this man at his motor home (apparently the perfect designated spot for future interludes). We instantly connected and had a wonderful time in bed. It was amazing. We cuddled afterward just talking to one another until the little one awoke. This man is married, but not getting what he needs sexually at home either. We have no intention of leaving our significant others, but we are thoroughly enjoying the beginning of this journey. I cannot wait until our next gathering. We are only able to meet twice a week.

     In addition to this, I was trying to mildly pursue a guy on facebook that I was in love with in high school. He didn't want to "be a home-wrecker" so the issue died. He contacted me a few times about getting together (he lives about 2 hours away) since that point. Just 4 days ago, he said if we did get together, he envisioned us as having "explosive sex" which completely turned me on. He is a beautiful person that I wanted very badly in high school, and now I want him increasingly. If I have the opportunity to be with him alone, this is guarenteed to happen. The problem is finding an opportunity and a damn good alibi.

     Now, I do not get around, sort of speak, but I would entertain the thought of actively having sex with 3 men, my significant other, the doctor, and the high school love. Unfortunately, it is making me see the flaws of my home sex life more and more. There is so much more to be had and to give. I truly want to carry on like this as long as possible. Yet, it has been a mere 5 days since this life-changing reality, so the situation is too young to know what I want or will do. When there are young kids involved, it becomes a very sticky situation. My best bet is to stick around and be the loving housewife that I am. While in the background, sneakily live my own life and get fulfillment in areas I would never get at home.  I am a giver, so it isn't like I am not pleasing my man.... it is just that I am not getting pleased and stimulated in so many ways. The funniest part is that I do not feel guilty or odd about the situation I have begun. I feel it is a natural part of human nature to want others or to get from somewhere else what you are lacking at home for so many years.

     For many, this may seem strange, but it is a reality. I love my man, but I am no longer in love. I love the feeling of lust. I love the feeling of experiencing another steady partner that I am not going to fall into the same daily routine with as the years go by. There is such a lack of complication between one and their lover on the side. This story is just beginning and unfolding. I am ready to ride the waves.

RideTheWaves RideTheWaves
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 14, 2010

I completely understand this situation.

Once you get caught for doing this you will be in a shame of pity. I was living a double live and I got royally ****** over. They found out and connected with each other and shared in everything I was doing to be deceitful to have sex with both of them. Its now over a month since I was brought out to the surface of being a liar. <br />
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Now its awkward to be around friends and family because of the lack of trust. Please think twice about doing this to yourself as well as others. If your marriage isn't working and you don't want to communicate to get it going better then leave it now to salvage a friendship to maintain for your children, otherwise you are running the risk of losing everything. <br />
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Believe me I just lost it all, including the person that I am still in love with ~ §