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Kicked Out

I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year.

He experienced a major injury about 9 months ago and underwent surgery about 3 months ago. He is still seeing a physical therapist and has been on pain medication for about 90% of this time. Due to his his injury, he has been sleeping on the couch and I have been sleeping in the bedroom (after being kicked out of the living room for being too clingy.. while only really wanting to keep a bit of intimacy in the relationship.) For about 6 months we have not done anything active. I'm to blame, at least, for not watching out for myself and going out with my friends.

Two weeks ago, I was told to we had to get separate living spaces or we would need to split up. Through a lot of reluctance and debate, and him staying firm on his decision, I started renting a room with a family member. He signed his own lease at an apartment complex. Since then.. things have been really hard for me.

There have been good signs: He has shown sexual interest in me for the first time in months.

But mostly there are just bad things. When we're not together, he makes no effort to contact me or set up meeting times.. When we did have a date planned, he canceled it, saying he felt grumpy. I cried. I feel distant and left out of his life. Everything is my fault, and I walk on egg shells, scared to upset him or bring up what makes me upset. He won't talk about anything with me. We hardly interact unless we're cuddling or having sex. Otherwise, we watch TV, movies, play games.. make dinner.

He doesn't think he is depressed, and maybe he isn't. Maybe the pain really is the reason he has been so mellow and unhappy. But after taking the day to read up on symptoms to watch out for, he matches all of them except for "crying excessively."

I want to be there for him, but how long will he let me?

Confused713 Confused713 22-25, F Sep 16, 2009

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