My Husband Left Me On 2/11

my husband left me and never looked back.  he says that he has been trying for months but never told me that something was wrong.  said he tried but i didn't' see it.  I still saw the man that i have always loved.  i didn't know anything was wrong, i had no idea, he never told me.  All he told me was that he was depressed and is trying to figure it out but assured me that it wasn't us.  that we were fine and that he loved me more then anything.  now he says i love you but i am just not in love with you anymore.  if i could believe him i would, but i saw the man that i love the last few months then all of a sudden he wasn't there anymore.  now he is so distant and he is a man that i have never met.  i am dying inside.  i have lost a part of me when he walked out of our life.  i am planning on a plan b but hoping for a plan a but i have no idea what to do, what to say or what to do next.  i am trying to give him what he wants but it is so hard, i would never wish this pain on my worst enemy.  I hate this all and he says that our marriage is un-repairable.  i would agree if we tried and that failed but we haven't at least we haven't together.  i can see if it was UN-repairable if we hated each other or he beat me or if one of us was a drunk that didn't' want to change or if it was mutual or if we both just knew.  this is not just his world but he is controlling mine and i hate it.  i want him back i want us again.  i don't want it to happen too fast i just want baby steps because i don't want him to come back right away and all this happen again... i just want a fair chance that i know what is going on and try with him.  i just feel after all this has happened that i am now on the chopping block that i am just never going to be good enough for him.  i am a good person and i know that i deserve better, but my happiness is with him and has before i met him.  maybe i just expected too much, maybe i didn't expect enough.  i want him to know that i am still the same women that he had fallen in love with. i just haven't been myself for a few months and now my depression has been nipped in the butt. but how do i show him?  what am i going to do now?  I prey, i wish, i dream, but i don't beg. I don't want to push him further away.  i want to win him back all over again.  so yeah i am lonely and depressed that my husband left me, but i am strong and able to do things for myself.  but i am just not complete without him.

jsml965 jsml965
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 20, 2009

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I know the pain my husband of 24 years did the same thing and said the same things. I need to tell you that he is with another woman no doubt. Men only say those things and leave when there is someone waiting for them. Its just the truth. Its his problem not yours.

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Hun, you deserve better. This happened to me too. The bottom line is if he doesn't want you, then he doesn't want you and there is nothing you can do. Pining after acman who doesnt want to be with you will wreak havoc on your self esteem. Get away, forget him and be happy.

I know this feeling all too happened to me in August of 2012. never saw it coming then i find out six months later he was having a relationship with a friend of ours who is married. we were all very close friends so it was quite devastating. he had left our home so technically i guess he didn't cheat but in a way he did b/c he lied about it and still kept me on a rod and real so to we are 9months later and things still are not much better...we try to make it work...wait let me rephrase...i try to make it work but i truly don't think he wants to..their affair has been over since October but i think he still cares for her and afraid he will never see me the same...whats worse is we have a 4 year old and 2 year old and when we so called "got back together" i ended up pregnant my depression and insecurities are at an all time high not to mention not feeling wanted in the slightest...

Wow i think we married the same man. The same thing just happened to me 3 weeks ago. I am so devastated and we have a 5 year old together he not only left me he left our family. I am so lost and I am so strong for my daughter during the day but the minute night falls and she finaly falls asleep i am so depressed and sad that he will never hold me again or to feel his touch. I am so lost and cant figure out what to do. I miss him so much. And he makes it worse telling me he is so much happier without me and he is not in love with me anymore. It's like he is enjoying seeing me in pain. I wish you good luck and hope things are going better for you. I still have a long way to go before i feel normal again because i still have so much love for him i feel i will never love again.

I feel for you, my husband just left me, he tells me he has been trying to leave me for year, but finally got the courage. He has been having an affair, which I knew about, but was still willing to stay married to him, i love him. but he tells me i should find someone better than him, most women would never stay with a man who is having an affair. We have talked about this and he wanted to leave me af ew years ago, but then back ed out because he felt bad, now he has gone ahead with it. I am still depressed and would still take him back. but he tells me it is over, he loves the other woman more. I dont think I could ever love any else again. and I will be alone for the rest of my live. we are in our fifties

I could of wrote this myself, this is exactly the same position I'm in down to him leaving 3 weeks ago & having a 5 year old daughter!
So I know exactly how you feel, this is undoubtably the darkest time in my life & I can't see it getting any better. I love him so so much & I can't let go of him, I know I'm clinging to false hope & I'm probably making things worse for myself by not facing reality but I just can't get my head around the fact that the man I deeply love & thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Have you been speaking to yours?
What sort if terms are you on re your daughter?

Hi, please search "midlife crisis forum", I believe it can be an invaluable source of comfort for you. My husband also left the marriage and filed for divorce. It also came out of the blue so I was totally unprepared. I was left devastated. He was my best friend. So now I'm wary of friends, and forming friendship that goes beyond "hello and goodbye".<br />
My thoughts are with you.

1. "IF ONLY"<br />