Everything That Could Go Wrong Has Gone Wrong

 for the past four or five years ive been told i have depression my my family doctors and school teachers. It all started when i was 12 (im 17 now) my mum and dad divorced and it hit me hard. It had an effect on my health on my sleeping patterns and evidently now my life as a whole. I started to miss the odd day from high school through illness and feeling so down i did not want to leave the house. in the end things went down hill and when i finished my over all attendance was 65% or something close to that. I was lucky really as i passed all my gcse exams and got a place in 6th form college. I started last september but earlier on in that year i lost my grandad who i was very close to, and then a month before i was due to start my nana died too and as a result i started to miss days at college and fall behind and now ive had to leave the course because of my attendance and i will start a fresh in September. But most teenagers would months off college but i hate it. To tell the honest truth i dont really have any friends and the ones i did have have made new friends and moved on but im still stuck at home at night and weekends on my own feeling down and not having anything to do. I do kind of have a friend ive known her since high school and we text and send e-mails, and recently she confessed to me that she has developed feelings for me. I dont know what to do because i have only had 3 girlfriends and the longest relationship i have had was 2 months and they always end in tears, usually mine. I really like her and we have become close but my only concern is all the people i know just see her as a joke and no body likes her, even her friends have told me to not get involved as she is depressing and clingy and i really dont know what to do. But if i go out with her we'd become the joke of the town and college and i really dont want that for either of us, but on the other hand i dont want to be lonely i just want somebody to hold me and care for me as ive grown ap art from the rest of civilisation. thanks for reading

feelingdown17 feelingdown17
18-21, M
2 Responses Feb 18, 2010

It is very keen of you to think of how a relationship will affect her as well as you. You do communicate together, so you know if you like how she thinks, her humor and whether she is clingy and depressing in your estimation. Go at it slowly, move the friendship forward, you do not have to become the proverbial couple is the two of you or one of you do not want it. You are friends, and despite what the movies says: boys and girls (men and women) can be friends without getting all sticky and wet.<br />
You have similar issues surounding you as did I when I was in college. I had lost my dad and my two granddads and two of my favoirte uncles, plus my dad's brother was just back from his third tour in Viet Nam. My junior year, mom died. I was 23. It was not the time for me to enter into a relationship.<br />
I got along with three or four girls at that time. One got married and we never spoke again. Another one got married and she promised me that if I did not get married, she would keep me on the side behind her husbands back (she was kidding, but it was promising). The third girl got scared of me because I got all depressed and clingy, so she made herself scarse. Her sister and I got to be good friends because we volunteered at the same place. We talked our lives out.<br />
A year later I had met someone else, we got married after I graduated, had four kids, got divorsed and live happily now.<br />
What's the point you say ... there is no way to predict what will happen. You have to move forward and take a chance. When it seems too chancy, talk your life out with a good friend, and women are the best listeners.<br />
Be of good cheer too. Just because you are depressed, doesn't mean that you cannot smile. Force yourself to smile and wave at people you know and laugh, laugh 12 times a day, and I me from the belly man, from the belly! HAAAAA!

I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks....if I cared what everyone thought about me I would have gone insane by now!<br />
Do what makes YOU happy and forget everyone else,it sounds like you need a bit of happiness.<br />
Keep your chin up and make yourself happy :)