I Could Just Cry Right Now

I actually just feel so **** right now... I'm sick of being alone why the **** am I so wonderfully screwed up? I hook up guys at bars and if they ever try to contact me again I just ignore them like I'm happy being alone. I'm so falsely independent.

I'm afriad to "date people" and I don't know why?!?!?!!?   I feel like such a tart at times.  I see people all the time as couples and it just makes me want to drown myself with a bottle of whiskey. I mean I give no one a chance and complain about being lonely...mayb cus the guys I hook up with when I'm drunk aren't the guys I would hook up if I was sober... I don't even know. And the only person who I've ever give a **** about left me

I can't do this anymore, pretend everythings fine and just repress all these feelings... I'm just going to cry until I can't anymore cause repressing this is just beginning to kill me. I can feel myself going back down that dark road again...

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26-30
2 Responses Mar 6, 2009

Heeeeey you're trying too hard in my opinion. Bars are NOT the places to find your soulmate if thats what you're looking for?? Theres sooooooo many men in bars who are married looking for a bit of sex. Think of it like this, who would you rather be, the wife who is being cheated on and doesn't even know it or YOU. Sooooooo many women agree to sex to make themselves feel better only to hate themselves later. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm alone too and hell it REALLY and I mean REALLY does get lonely sometimes. I just wish there were "hugging clubs" to join. Hah I've put a post up somewhere saying that :)

Not all people r alike " there is always a bad apple on every tree"<br />
Maybe ur too scared to be left alone and to pass throw that period again but that's life the way it is what doesn't kill u makes u stronger :) <br />
Have a viccation live like there is no tomorrow, give ur self some time and enjoy :)<br />
TC