What is more fun than being drunk and alone? Being drunk and alone in a crowded bar of drunk people having fun.
Saturday night, I went out to try and have some fun and forget everything else. I accomplished forgetting everything else, if only for a little while. But I didn't have much fun. I was in a place I knew, with some people around that I knew. I made small talk here and there... But mostly, I sat alone, drinking away everything; almost completely unaware of what was going on around me.
I wanted to meet people, talk to people, have fun with everyone else. But I just felt invisible, and like I shouldnt be there. Even with the people I knew, that I consider friends, of some sort anyway; I felt like they didnt want me around, like I was just bugging them.
Eventually I just started feeling like an idiot, and went home. Why pay money to be a lonely drunk in public, when you can be a lonely drunk at home for free.
I'd rather be lonely in private, than lonely in a crowd. I don't like sitting there trying to meet new people and make new friends, all the while feeling small, invisible and alone on the inside.