Lonely Drunk

What is more fun than being drunk and alone? Being drunk and alone in a crowded bar of drunk people having fun.

Saturday night, I went out to try and have some fun and forget everything else. I accomplished forgetting everything else, if only for a little while. But I didn't have much fun. I was in a place I knew, with some people around that I knew. I made small talk here and there... But mostly, I sat alone, drinking away everything; almost completely unaware of what was going on around me.

I wanted to meet people, talk to people, have fun with everyone else. But I just felt invisible, and like I shouldnt be there. Even with the people I knew, that I consider friends, of some sort anyway; I felt like they didnt want me around, like I was just bugging them.

Eventually I just started feeling like an idiot, and went home. Why pay money to be a lonely drunk in public, when you can be a lonely drunk at home for free.

I'd rather be lonely in private, than lonely in a crowd. I don't like sitting there trying to meet new people and make new friends, all the while feeling small, invisible and alone on the inside.


BeautifulNightmare BeautifulNightmare
22-25, F
6 Responses Jun 5, 2008

story of my life...

Beautiful,<br />
I know just how you felt that night. Been there, done that .. But not at your age.. you are around 22? I'm 58 and I know how you feel. you shouldn't feel that way! You are gorgeous! you are beautiful and you should be pampered and loved or court! <br />
My number one thought is: you hang out in the wrong places! <br />
1 When you keep fishing in the same ponds, you get the same fishes!<br />
2 When you are in the same place as your friends/acquaintances, and they don't engage you, THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!<br />
3 you need to think about your talents, your hobbies, your interests, your degrees, your handiwork, your needlepoint, your animaltalents...WHATEVER YOU HAVE!!!! and you need to DO something... anything dear!<br />
anything!<br />
anything different than what you did before! something out of the extraordinary!!!!<br />
something you never did before!!! (SOMETHING GOOD! DON't GO TO DRUG DEALERS!)<br />
Girl, take it from an old lady: you have your life ahead of you! don't dispair! choose wisely!

its good to be drunk in a bar

u just haven't met the right type of people that would like to do stuff which you like....!! maybe you could check out that aspect in life...!! find people who are totally different... learn new things... widen your horizon....!!!! learn a language, learn an instrument, learn something different everyday.... and if you feel drinking makes you lonely... maybe you should try playing some sport, or hit on some one.... you could hit someone if you like...!!!

From what little you say, I can suggest contacting AA...your feelings and actions are like mine were...and I've found friends there, love, and a solution so I don't have to drink anymore, which only brought sadness.<br />
I don't mean to diagnose you or offend you...just sharing my experience. <br />

being lonely with friends, being lonely and drunk with friends... I've done it all... I am even lonely around the people who know me the best... That I am closest to.