I'm In A Room Full Of My Closest Friends

I am alone. Stuck in the mindset of a stranger. I do not connect with these people. I do not connect with myself. I am unhappy, sad, and broken. I am lonely. It's not the first or second this has occurred; this has occurred for years.
I am in love with someone. Isn't that wonderful? It's not. I am more hurt than anything because I am in love and I love with all my heart. I am still not loved back. How can this happen? I love someone and they don't love me back! I have no other desire, want, or need. I only live for him and I know that I shouldn't have that perspective but I do. I love him more than myself and because I can't love myself I become even more alone. I can not express this loneliness. It's a pain that I suffer each night. Each moment of everyday is a struggle to try to find an intimate connection to anything. I have tried and still nothing. I hate everything. Everything.

Loneliness is deeply rooted in me. I can not find happiness. I am in pain and I hurt. I am alone. Even being told that people have felt this way or feel this way still leaves me alone because I am longing for a fill to the emptiness.

my thoughts are stringed together by the conscious flow of my mind. The order is not specific but is life supposed to be. Maybe my existence is really just perspective. But what does that tell me? Nothing. I know nothing. I feel nothing except absence of love and longing. lonely.
unknownidentity unknownidentity
Nov 20, 2012