Always Alone

I've joined so many clubs, been to so many groups and classes, had so many hobbies ... but I just never seem to fit in anywhere. Some groups I've been going to for 5 years or more, and still can very rarely get a responce to a 'hi, how are you?' .. and even then, the responces are either abusive, or they look at me as if they're looking at dogshit on the bottom of their shoe. Yet, that's all people tell me to do ... even therapists .. is to join groups, join clubs. But it never works. I try my best, for 16 years I've been trying my best, and it still never works!

Cursedboy Cursedboy
36-40, M
8 Responses Sep 11, 2008

thats sad and am in the same position almost . am married ,but my husband is always at work ,he comes home and an hr later hes in bed coz he wakes up earliy (3 am) for work n comes back 7 at night .am alone all morning ,i go have lunch in my family's house alone in my room ,i come back 2my house in stay alone waiting for him 2come back ,he comes beat and dont want 2 even talk coz hes surrounded by ppl all day .i have no friends at all .growing up coz i have cousins my age didnt think that i need friends. am friendly ,but i cant approach ppl 2 make friends .and at this age its really hard 2 make friends bcoz everybody around u r set and have their own groups of friends .am sad and lonely all the time .<br />
and just like u ,i tried many hobbies many groups ,came up with a single friend that sends me forward msgs on my blackberry .thats it .<br />
am 36 ,iv always thought life would be easier as u grow older ,turns out ,,it only gets more difficult and complicated as we grow. *sigh*

DiamontAdmirer: Yes, I've tried MANY groups. And really they all seem to be the same. The unwelcoming to someone who isn't known and invited by someone already in the group, and to anyone who is alone. Maybe that's just an Australian thing. But I've even been told by some groups that they don't allow people they don't know to join because of the 'danger' of perverts and the like. Once you start to get older, and are still single, you find that where you can go becomes extremly limited. Atleast that's what I've discovered. Even more so when you have no friends.

Readung your story I feel very sad. You try and still it doesn't work... Why are people like that?<br />
This is really bad of people. I think you are really a sweet person. And I really hope you will find your princess very fast, because you deserve that! And it's true, if you make friends, you'll not feel alone and you won't be bothered of what people think of you.<br />
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You say that you have been in many groups. Did you really tried all kind of groups? Maybe you think it's silly, but I really like to make friends with people who are different. For example: nerds. Because (many of them) they are very approachel. Being friends with them is really fun! It's also a start. I don't mean that you have to leave them at a time, but I mean that from that friendship you can have more friends and make your friend circle become bigger! Yoú maybe will have all sort of friends then! <br />
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And you know, when I see your photo, I don't think you are ugly. You are human and that matters! <br />
But I can see that you are really sad, because of your sad eyes. It hurts me to see that. You know?<br />
This is what I do and I think it will work for you too! Every morning when I wake up I look at myself and I smile. Out of nothing I just smile and my smile becomes bigger and I will laugh! I laugh very much and I do this also in the rest of my day, when I remember myself: smile! And when you smile, very bad things don't seem to be that bad either! You will feel yourself relaxed en you will feel happy and also look happy! Practice this every time and then I'll see how happy you look @ your profilephoto! It will really make you look different! <br />
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You can also get yourself a make over, which will make you feel different and so you can start with a fresh beginning! Maybe you could lose some weight (if you want to), go to fitness (it's also healty), eat healthy food (which will make you look more healty & beautiful), wear different clothes (simple like jeans with a white blouse, good shoes, a watch, very nice parfum)... These are all examples. You'll have to make this decision by your own. <br />
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And really I think, you are GREAT! (sorry for my bad english)

Cucuboth: i am really depressed reading about you!!! i really hope you find your soul mate because then you wont be bothered about what others think and talk about my experiences i have been moaning about how people sumtimes dont treat me seriously because of my attractiveness ....but listening to you it just made me ashamed of WHY would i bother about APPEARENCES so much!!!<br />
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thanks for opening my eyes and i am sure you will have a great life!!!<br />
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I swear if someone asks me "how are you" or even a "hi" i am sure to respond to them and if they are consistent then i'll try to know them better<br />
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just be yourself and find people who think like you

I've got pets. Always had pets. But you can't go to the movies with a pet. Can't go to a resturant or a cafe, or have a good conversation, with a pet. And to get married, well, you've got to have someone who likes you first .. and before that, you've even got to find someone who'll talk to you, and go out with you .. I'm just trying to find help in that!

Maybe you should get married if you're not already or buy pets they'll make you happy.

Getting 'ok' with being alone just ain't an option. Getting 'ok' with it is just something else someone else expects me .. wants to force me .. to do. I'd rather be dead than accept anymore of this.

Get okay with being alone. What you resist persists. Once you have accomplished this within yourself, you will no longer feel alone. Be blessed.