Computer Games In The Way!

I've been married almost 10 years. We have had so many downs that I don't even know how we're still together! I have worked so hard to try and make this work. Now, my husband plays computer games and is on the computer WAAY more often than with me. Not only are we emotionally unconnected (even when I tell him flat out how I long to be connected to him), but he is starting to ignore my desire for physical intimacy as well. I know that the computer is like a mind numbing thing! It's driving me so crazy that I don't even know what to do anymore! Nothing I say or do matters to him. He's almost always in a bad mood and negative about everything! How in the world can I stay positive in a relationship with a man like this? Hurting and Lonely...
30anon 30anon
2 Responses Aug 9, 2010

I know this post has been a while but I have to say I disagree with amberdhartley. 30anon I read your experience and it's like I am reading a chapter in my own book of life. My previous husband even went out and built me a computer so I did't have to use his or cut into his computer time. I too explained how I felt not being shown more attention than games and such. I did leave for a year as well. I felt we needed time apart. Then throughout the year I actually thought I would not go back. When he did call and I came back things were great for the first month, then as if time had reversed itself we were right back to where we began. I did end up talking to him about it again and we decided to break it off completely. A 12 yr marriage and two children. I have come to find out over the yrs (we have been divorced now for almost 9yrs) He still does this with his new wife. She is just ok with it and has her own computer and does just what he does. So it works for them.

I completely understand! Reading this was like reading my own story. My husband is always on the computer at work or asleep. I've tried several times to tell him that I feel emotionally unconnected to him. I've tried to get closer to him and tell him I'm not happy and what I need. But it's like he doesn't care.He's in his own little world and I'm not apart of it!! I would suggest some time apart. Maybe then he will have some time to think. And some time to miss you. Sounds to me like he is taking you for granted. Like you are always gonna be there. If he really loves you he will want you back and he'll change his ways just to get you back. Now he knows you will tolerate it so he continues to do it. Take a stand and leave temporarily. It will be much better when you go back! Trust me. Hope this helps.