No Title

You look like a really nice guy and I personally think you're quite attractive. In reality, there's nothing wrong with being nice, but the other reality is that people are selfish. It's a matter of realising who is worth your time, efforts and energy and who isn't.



So don't automatically assume anything and give yourself time to make a suitable choice as to where they place in your life. On the bright side, all your experiences till now are helping you to learn to better cope in the future - it's all a learning experience :) Best of luck :)

I wonder how many guys could just copy/paste what you wrote. Keep focused on that school and work. A good one might come along. If she never does atleast you got some cash and education. Better to be alone forever than to have your heart repeatedly broken.

did you get used to groupies at one tone time? Maybe that is why your feeling a loss of contol. Self- control is a total turn on.

lol I guess I'm an *******, because I've pretty much never had this problem with women :P

I know a lot of people here will feel badly for you, but I don't think pity is going to help you. Complaining about how badly other people take advantage of you isn't helping either, obviously. I was in the boat you describe here too, and I didn't get out of it until I took responsibility for what was happening to me. Because being a "nice guy" was really just a front that I put up because I was afraid of confrontation, I wouldn't say no for fear of someone getting mad at me. It was cowardice, pure and simple. And cowards get what they deserve. I lost a lot of money and time that way too, and did nothing but resent the people who were taking advantage of my generosity (read cowardice). My own family was taking me for hundreds of dollars at a time, and this one girl got me to let her live with me for over a year rent free on false pretenses that she was gonna get a job and her own place. Then she just played World of Warcraft and ate my food and smoked my weed and cigarettes, and all she gave me was sex. Prostitution is the oldest trade for a reason, my friend.



Try this line on for size. "No."



And when they ask why, say, "I don't need to explain myself to you." It's hard at first, but it gets easier. I hope that helps you as much as it has me.



And if you resent someone for not paying you back, just tell them. Say, "I resent you for taking my money and not paying it back like you said you would." Stop pretending like you don't have emotions, you aren't really as nice on the inside as you want people to think you are, are you? You feel anger at this way you are allowing yourself to be treated, and it's probably eating you up inside. Stop being manipulative and start being honest, or you'll never get the intimacy you are desperately craving. I should know.

being taken advantage of by anyone for to long can make a person bitter and hateful! dont let anyone guy or girl take advantage. standing up for yourself doesnt take away from being a nice guy......it just also makes u a smart guy

My advice is so simple.

We pass by a bit unattractive lady, we look around there attraction but not there nice nature . I do not mean ugly woman but many woman are acceptable appearance too.

We are after beauty, feel proud to be a fantastic g friend,

This attractive woman has attraction for others guy too. she Is admired, so her mind goes up,up, and eventually she kicks guys and so on :-)

That Is west a free place.

dude why not get a acceptable lady, ever you thought? I know never.

Why not get a wife from east suppose Philippine? so obedient girls wash clean massage loves,cares?

Aha, You say no,

white girl ? ok man get from one wife from Russia, so nice poor ,good wives, caring . you can meet the through agencies who can arrange with these girls. you like and get marry,save money do not waist on those girls, on a payer type girls, but if you ask pretty girls , guys plays with them too, leave them ,use,enjoy and go after others girls.?

Its really is not matter of a man or woman, its matter of individual person.

I know what mean a nice guy for ladies, believe me, just a crock a very simple person to make him fool,

a nice girl, what that mean same she can be fooled easily too.

When you go for sleep think about my advice.

good luck,

And prayer does work too.

Hi. Just read your story No Title about the girl that uses you and all that. I'm so very sorry she does that. I love nice guys. I'm like you in some ways. I'm just too nice to say no sometimes and I get taken advantaged of by guys. I'm trying to better myself too.



If you ever want to talk, I'll be here for you.

ummm buddy, it's not women - it's the ones you're associating with. time to find a new sample!

Sorry to hear this happened, but unfortunately I do agree with you that many women take advantage of nice guys. I'm glad you are finally standing up for yourself, however - if she won't stay with you just because you won't lend her money then you are better off without her in your life. So I think you should completely stop letting her take advantage of you and if she doesn't like it, that's her problem.



As others have said, however, the main problem is that you are a pushover. There are of course women that will be able to deceive you even if you try your hardest not to let them, but in general lending large amounts of money is a bad idea and you are opening yourself up to being used.

Honestly, I am INCREDIBLY sick of hearing the 'nice guys finish last' bullshit. There is a H U G E difference between being nice and being a complete push-over. I am a pretty, popular, and confident woman and I have NEVER taken advantage of a nice guy. I have, however, taken advantage of male and female push-overs. Why? Mostly because I had no ******* clue at the time that they weren't willingly helping me when I asked for help but were helping because they wanted to please me, were afraid of me, were lonely, etc. You absolutely cannot feel sorry for yourself and whine about your situation if you KEEP PUTTING YOURSELF in the same situation over, and over, and over. Be nice, be polite, be who you are, but do not expect the world to respect you for being weak.

Nice guys , genuine ********, real muthafukrs, or just all around balanced. Either way it is a balancing act. Case by case. Ordeal. You should be able spot a wreck a mile away, there's smoke ,fire, usually and inferno followed by explosions. If you are being miss treated and don't correct it, its on you. Period. I have had an occasion that warranted severe action and chose to look the other way due to love. I have had people trybto get over in or steal from me etc.. or just over extend my kindness. I will always still reach out and help those in need just more discriminatingly. None the less I firmly believe no good deed goes unpunished and accept this. However, I am quick to say no now to. I wont stop helping others, funny is you prefaced this to girls and attractiveness. So.. you must always have an agenda? Too bad. That's probably why you're getting hurt more.

I have learned over the last few years that women, for some reason, like the guys that treat them like ****. If you are an *** to them, they love it. I don't know why, but they do. At least the ones I had been with. I had always been the gentleman, take them out buy things. Then they just wanted to be friends. So I have learned to just say "**** them". Now when I with them, I don't treat them all nice. I will treat them as if they were my boy toy. It about what I want, I already tried giving them what they want. I think I just attract the crazy ones though, so it could be me. Anyways, good luck on your decisions, and getting your money back.

Well, I see that this was wrote some time ago.. but I'll respond anyway. I don't believe using people is a female only phenomenon.. sadly, it's a human condition. I understand your loneliness and feeling of betrayal. I too, have been down this path far more often than I would care to admit. I think you..as I have often done..is make ourselves to available to people. I think that certain personality types can sense that about me, that I'm a nice, loyal, trusting, want to help in any way I can, type.. and they use that to their advantage. It hurts like hell to be used like that..but at the end of the day.. I can go to sleep at night knowing I'm a decent human being. I have a clear conscience. You should too. I have taken some satisfaction in knowing I'm a good person..and what other people do.. I cannot control. But..I can control how I allow them access to me. I have gotten better over the years. It's a process, Drum... you will learn it too. Now, people have to earn my trust before I give them much of my time. I hope that helps. I wish you well :)

maybe because of that experience, you can be a friend here....=)

what if i tell you that what i had tried are those thing you have tried. guy did that to me? it's hurting too... maybe we do same things coz they all do same things to us?

Get a new number ... Stop talking her calls she is only using you ... Go out and find yourself a nice girlfriend you don't need her in your self

You mentioned girls using you for rides. One girl actually would call me to pick her up from one night stands. When she would get in the car she would say something like "he was soo good". I think she said that to get me jealous, she knew how much I liked her.

His name is Christopher Hansen! He grew up in Lake Forest, IL

I don't know where he lives now but I sure don't wish anything good upon him.

You're lucky, you only lost the $1200. I loaned $10,000 to a friend. When I asked for it back a month later he said "what $10,000?" He always asked for loans but started with small amounts which he would pay me back within a couple weeks, He steadily increased it over a span of 6 months and each time taking an extra day or two to pay back. The last time that happened, even when I loaned him $5,000 which he paid back very fast.. a week or so. No Kidding, he was a jerk, a liar, a deceitful person.. Oh did I tell you he was a lawyer? He knew all the legal ways to cheat any person who was kind to him. To this day, I always hoped he would end up in jail!!

drummiggy

this is a public forum and when u post ur story, it will be subjected to peoples own opinions, thoughts ideas on how to handle ur situation .. just take what u need and leave the rest. being defensive to some one who has different interpretation than yours, shuts you off to problem solving ur loneness (((hugs))

I'm a little sick of hearing all these nice guy stories. I'm beginning to think that all these so-called "nice guys" aren't really so. At least, I've never met any. You say you're nice, but from your story, it seems like you want something from her, just as much as she wants something from you. Why do you not go out of your way to do all these things for "unattractive" girls? These "attractive" girls that you bend over backwards for are using you because they know that you want to use them in pretty much the same way. Instead of going on about how nice and lonely you are, why don't you get to know women as people? A relationship will start that way. In my experience, men are only nice to me when they want something. As soon as it becomes clear that I'm not that way, it's like I don't exist. I may sound harsh, but you may not be as nice as you think. You are being self-centered in thinking only about your desires. Think about it from the girls who use you: they get "sweet" guys all the time like you, doing things for them. But lets cut the crap, she knows what you really want from her (I'm not saying that you are necessarily, but this is what she's thinking); you don't really care about her, you just wanna **** her, so why not milk it while it lasts? Guys treat her like this all the time, like just another pretty face. (More like another hot *insert vulgar phrase here*). If you really want to stop being lonely, why don't you try treating the next girl you meet like a human being. Instead of thinking to yourself, "Wow, she's so hot, I'll do everything for her and she'll just HAVE to like me!", get to know her! You may find that she's interesting and funny and quirky in addition to being pretty. You might even find that you can't stand her; she may be irritating or rude. You might just make a new friend, which could be even more meaningful than a sexual partner. And that means even if she's not interested in sleeping with you, or not attractive enough as per your standards, you still treat her with the respect she deserves.

You sound like a really decent young man, take heart the right person will come along.

As long as you hang around with people that use you all the other users will soon see and that's what you will have. Let them go! Sure it will be lonely for a while but I'm sure you will meet someone. My Son had the same problem they all had emotional baggage and use to drain him, he gave so much and got so little in return. Now he has someone in his life who just adores him and he has blossomed and put on a little weight. I wish you everything of the best be patient you deserve better in life and it will come.

fidn the women that didnt pay you back, and scare the **** out of her. threaten her, make her think you're going to kill her. threaten to kill her. rough her up a bit. make her cry and beg. it'll change your outlook on the world, and get you your money back.

the whole world is f-d... it's not just nice guys or nice girls.. everyone is so self consumed with their own needs that nobody gives a sh!t about other peoples... it's important to be honest about your intentions and ask about theirs... figure out what you want before you start looking for things.. it doesn't matter if the only thing thats honest is " i think you're cute, but don't know what else" this whole deal of people being afraid to get hurt and get vulrnerable is screwed up... ***** girls and **** guys run in the same pack of people that take advantage of everyone else.. but the truth is, so many of us ***** about not being cared about or having rough childhoods be the cause of relationship issues.. they're just the ones whos parents told them they were perfect.. they believed it and now everyone else bows to them... get to know people before you let them into your life enough to lend money and give rides.. hold yourself to a standard... its ok to pick up a friend here and there but really if you're getting used it's because of some deeper issue inside that you don't think you're worthy of more... maybe dating isnt' the problem as much as you needing a little TLC from yourself...

I know the feeling.....when people just try and use you for what ever they want......i myself try and be as nice as i can to people....and i am more than happy to help someone in nned....but.......i have gone through the same problem but have.....learned the limits alot better.......ill help someone out without a doubt....but if it starts to become a pattern.....the......they can forget it......and i believe that my relationship with the lord has helped me wth this.......ever ince ive come close o the lord i have become much.....wiser when it comes to this kind of stuff.......and.......i see things in a different perspective than i did before.....

You really need a great romp in the sack with a cougar!

There are plenty of men out there who taking advantages of women but I have to say you have bad luck with women. If I know for sure there is a guy that really loves me, I would do anything for him just because he loves me. I would feel so bad myself if I take advantage of him.

The women you write of sound like little ***** *** boys. I have had a parade both men and women who have made it an artform of whoasMe Meohmy BS. From manipulative kinds to just parasitic kife forms. Yeah.. Detach and run. Pull all ties and never ask why or how much to get them out of your life cuz that just means your right back to square one.

Is it totally naive to suggest that people should love one another without being totally adicted to looks? Everything is so politically biased. Ok so I think I'm pretty nice looking and I didn't realise exactly how much that changed things in my life. I think I got more attention because of it. Then bam! I relised that the people (man/woman) weren't actually my friends they were politically motivated to be my friends because my work was biassed towards attractive looking people. So I bucked that trend because damn it I'm not moralistic I'm just human. I've made some real mates now, not just the flat out crap in crowd. I'm so over the shallow, whether it's because your some looser guy who is hung up on a pretty girl and let's yourself be a doomat just becuase of it or not! Your just as hopless as they are!! Look.. take a moment. take a breath and allow yourself to be kind and gentle to someone else just because it feels nice, maybe you'll be nice to someone who is truely nice back and find your soul mate.. I did and it's based on genuine care.