Life,,,through My Eyes...

Hi, my name is Sergio Rosas, For the time that I have been on this earth, i have lived among you in the great United States of America. Oh! the wonders I heard when i was learning english, "The land of opportunity" and " The home of the free". But you want to know what I hear after I was able to comprehend my existance after being a baby. " You are a Immigrant"; my mother said, at the time I did not understand this idea, but if i was as smart as I am now, I would have return to my "native" country. My mother warn me not to say where I was born from (even though to my mind i have never been there, nor do i have any knownledge of the country personally) and according to my mother, she brought me during the age of 1 to this country. After that, I keeped hearing this word, "immigrant" on the news and how they were being mistreated in this country. I lived through hell during my school life, hoping not to be discover for fears of being take aways from my mother and brothers. I lived through hell at home at the hands of my step-father, being mistreated physically and mentally, and i said nothing in fear of being deported. And all to this date, i hope and prayed to the creator to help me, to make light of this situation. During high school, I learned of a new word. Dream, as in the Dream Act. I saw this as a final solution to my life's delema, but i have tired of my pathetic existence. Now i have come to grasp my situation and I am tired of having my life and fate in the hands of this government. I hate this life, not being able to be like all the rest even though I was not born in this country physically but mentally was raised like the rest in this country. I hate being discriminated by the police, I hate being hated by "you", the white supremacists in this world. I hate seing my brothers and sisters who being born in this country, rather live as a bunch of lazy, drugged, and stupid morons living of the system. I am the only one in my family who is in college, thank god for the AB540. I see my brother wasting their life in drugs, refusing to work...living of my step-father money. I was raised  under christianity catholicism, and lutheran and yet i refused to follow those teaching and rather reject all religions but know that a creator exist. I dont drink, or do drugs, I am a high school graduate like the rest of you all and still I hunger for more education, going to school, seeing the news, watching pbs channels, history, etc. but I have come to a understading that I rather be somewhere else other than this country. I hate these United States. I see all the hate towards me and all the others, and how those born here rather than admit their mistake, rather take aim and point their finger to the immigrants and blame them for all of life's problems.

My point is that this is my true source of me being lonely, I and the one like others who are force to be in the middle. I can't relate to those who come as a immigrants, and I am limited of progressing my life in this country. Oh the goal I had when I was growing up, I was going to buy my mom a house, and become something important like a doctor or something, but like my mom always saids, "Nosotros propone y dios dispone". I don't you kind of lonelyness, I was not raped like those people that I have read their story or any of the other stories that I have read on this site, but this have cause me great depression and at moment I have gotten to a point were I rather end this already, What am I waiting for, am I waiting for the president, am I waiting to be deported, I don't care any more, all I want is to be treated like I would treat "you" with dignity and respect. I did not choose to come to this country, my family has many problems and I not sticking around here just to keep living this existence of cleaning after my sibling, having to take care of the house, not being able to work. I refuse to give in to a life of being a immigrant.

I dont want your sorries or yoyr hopes, I just want you to know what you can't see, like all those peoples who have lived in this world before, there are those who are victimize for one reason or another, Easies examples are the Jews, the Black, and now it seems the Immigrants.

"There is no point in living in a land of freedom, is your worth nothing"