Being Alone Even When People Care

So I came here from Facebook because I got sick of all the false friendships and the rat race to prove how "alive" I am. I got sick of all the people who were friends in name only, but wouldn't budge to talk to me or respond. I have a small circle of friends and they are just the greatest people I have met, despite their quirks and flaws. My best friend is my brother, who is shy and a little awkward in conversation when things get complicated. He needs practice so its hard holding a conversation with him sometimes, but I know that he cares for me and I appreciate his frienship every day. My guy friends are ADD stricken and our interests don't always coincide, day to day. I sometimes can't hold conversations with them, meaningful or otherwise, and those days make me question my friendship. Those days I feel lonely because I crave meaningul conversations, I crave intellectual fare, and feeling like I'm understood. They are like brothers to me because we have experiences quite a bit together and our awkwardness and quirks bind us, but I don't always have my needs satisfied. My dad and I are very close, but because of language barriers, our conversations aren't always long or even meaningful, but I suppose when you're that close with someone, not every talk has to be; there's room for silliness. My girlfriend I fell in love with because she understands me and I feel lonely when she's gone because I lack an outlet. I suppose that's what I need in my life: a proper outlet for my thoughts and friends who appreciate them. I love my friends, but I wish they could appreciate my thoughts a litte more.
LeoRojas690 LeoRojas690
18-21, M
6 Responses Jul 23, 2010

You sound a lot like my husband. He loves to have intellectual conversations, but works at a place where all they talk about is sex, farting, and **** jokes. He thinks they are all a bunch of idiots, but he goes along to get along. So, I feel for you.

distance? i am a Chinese and studying in the uk now, but my friends are in China. we were in the same high school before for 4 years. sometimes we also complained each other but after 4 years get together, we find we know each other . as i said, both of us dont like chatting on the phone, and we always care about too much things for one another, this often make us laugh a lot. like sometimes when i miss him,i give him a call, i ask him what he is doing,he says he is dealing with his essay , then i say ok,i will call you next time, do you job first. but he will never say yes.,he just wants to help me solve my problem first, many things like this. nowdays, if any of us want to chat,we just leave a message on the msn,show the time like sunday 1pm. then we will be in front of the laptop then, have a video chat or just writes words, yeah, this is the friendship, not too much words, as pure as water. i think your real friend is already besides you, but you need time to feel it. the precious things grow up slowly. good luck.

@rayonline: yeah that's true. Expecting perfection in anything just leads to disappointment. How do you deal with the distance? <br />
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@earthican: Meeting strangers is pretty interesting. A girl I met in class a few months back ended up becoming a close friend. And I opened up to my boss today. He's a really chill dude. <br />
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Thank you for comments, advice, and understanding. I appreciate it.

I can totally relate to that. I don't find that the forms online are ever as meaningful as the ones in a face to face fashion. However, facebook is not a place I choose to hold or conduct intellectual conversations. People seem to be pushing away from physical contact with others. Don't let friends slip away. Ask the questions that you want to ask. Friends can't stay mad at you for it and if they do, they don't deserve your friendship. I love talking to strangers you meet alone the way. It can sometimes lead to a beautiful friendship.

my best friends are not in the same city with me now, and we dont always phone each other because both of us feel nervous and get nothing to say when we are on the phone. but we like to write down our thought,and we know we are careing each other. yeah, not need to much talk. maybe u are trying to be positive in the life but most things cannot be done perfectly, like friendship. sometimes put oil on the fire is good.

I know how the emptiness of facebook feels. The need for significance and meaning is important for all of us. Cheers to your intellectual pursuit!