I'm Becoming Reclusive And Isolated.

After reading the book Lonely by Emily White, I realize how lonely I am.

I'm forgetting how to have conversations with people.

I'm lying to people about social lives I have in my imagination.

I think if I make more money it'll change things.

I feel like no one understands me.

I feel excluded.

I'm jealous of other people and their social lives.

I stay away from large groups of people because I'm scared they will attack me in some way when they notice I'm alone.

I've been depressed over the last couple days because I don't know what to do. I'm scared the rest of my life will be like this.

I don't want to live; I don't have a life.
DrLady DrLady
2 Responses Jul 25, 2010

Your words are almost EXACTLY what I have been thinking.<br />
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There is no shame in that, throughout history many notable figures wanted to or were made to live solitary lives.<br />
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I think society tries to push you to be sociable and stuff, but if you don't go for that its fine.<br />
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With me it started in college. My first year I had many, many friends and had a typical great time. But in the years after I became more of a recluse, I started avoiding any friends I had made, and even my closest pals who had known me for years.<br />
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I think this happens when you learn a lot of things. For me since I was studying Psychology and Politics , I really became aware of things about the human being - which are better left unknown. Coupled with the fact I started researching about some dark incidents throughout history - I became weary at the world.<br />
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Right now I dont plan on having a family etc. I just want to live by myself. I think its very much all right.<br />
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Have a good one

Hopefully the rest of your life will be so much better for you without the depression and the loneliness.