The Only Explaination

I had thought for a long time that i had finally come to terms with my insanity. I had embraced it. Learned to live with it and even liked it at time but it seems that the journey is not yet over. I still have to deal with the loneliness that encompasses the insanity I bear.

I've always been a loner of sorts. Prefered my own company to that of a group of people. I even have a slight phobia of large groups and of people getting too close to me and entering my personal space, which it appears covers a radius of around a metre from my body. A few people have got passed the barrier but only a handful.

But recently I have had to come face to face with the emptiness of insane loneliness. People staying away because of my own doings. My nature. The mass of loneliness only seems to fire the insanity within though. A vicious circle it would seem.

Who in their right mind would want to be near the ramblings and emotional hurricanes of a crazy person?

... and then there are those they say that i'm not crazy. They have seen crazy people and i am not one of them..... Jump in my head then, and look.. You see for yourself the conflict and the turmoil and then tell me i'm not insane and if you can still tell me that then give me another explaination because i am all out of ideas.
Emsy Emsy
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 1, 2010

Others say what they are expected to say, ignoring that they - too - have the insanity in them that they are trying to tell you isn't there. We all have a mask, that hides who we are - and shows everyone around us who we want them to think we are .. but if not to hide the insanity we carry, why?<br />
<br />
Don't let the confusion in you keep others away. Another might share enough of that confusion in themselves with yours that you can find a companion in it all. A friend, a love, a partner. But only if you let them close enough to find you.