Empowered But Not

I feel empowered by the fact that my mother is a strong-willed person and believes in the freedom of people. She believes that my sisters and I are able to do what we want because we are free-spirited and open-minded. I am so glad I was able to be brought up by such a woman. that I was able to learn that being open-minded is great but having an opinion while being with an open mind is better. But...

She doesn't support me...she doesn't show me love the way she does my two sisters. My older sister has gone into college and is striving for a job that offers money. My little sister is a genius. She took the SAT in seventh grade and got better than 66% of the juniors at the time. My little sister has only made one B in her life, all the rest were A's. My grades almost never reach A level. The only time I held a steady A in a class was one I had to retake. I don't give my parents the pride they want. I've disappointed them. And I wish so much that I could just make them proud...if only just once.

When I was little, my sister and I were at the store with our parents. We saw these fuzzy color in picture things. My parents let us buy them and we started to color once we could open them. I wasn't awesome at making colors and so I chose pink for skin while both my sisters chose orange. Theirs showed up much better than mine. I didn't mind too much until I noticed that my little sister's picture was hung up, my older sister's picture was set up near my parents vanity and mine was collecting dust behind their dresser. (It's a small dress, by the way, so they wouldn't ever set anything on top of it)

I also notice my father is extremely proud of my little sister. He keeps only pictures of her up (He hates my older sis, he's even admitted this) and he makes them his computer's background and they are all around his bedroom. My mother adores my older sister and talks about her all the time while keeping pictures of her up on the place. And she saves the things she makes for her.

Also one time I went to my dad's work (All me and my sister's when we were younger would draw pictures on the paper's he didn't need) He had up my little and older sister's pictures but mine weren't any where to be found. I've cried numerous times over this...what does it take to make them proud of me? I'm just a child dying for some attention from her parents.

sayaandtenshi sayaandtenshi
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 12, 2010

Yeah, it did. And thank you.

That had to hurt when she said your are like your dad. I can relate with you it was the same in my family too.My mom had her favorite too. If you need a friend message me and we can talk more about your feelings if you want too. I wish things were better for you.

I've talked to my mom about it. I told her how it makes me feel very unimportant when she only stands up for my older sister everytime we fight and she doesn't protect me against my dad when he is yelling at me but she does when my older sister is involved. She procedded to tell me she felt she had to do that for my older sis (My dad, like I said hates her) and I said "You treat her like she's your favorite." And she first denied it and I told her it felt like my older sis was her favorite and finally she yelled at me that my sister was her favorite because I act too much like my father (I don't, by the way. He adores fighting and is my complete opposite) So I decided talking to her about my older sister doesn't work but I can talk to her about my dad and my little sis being his favorite. But luckily I can talk to my two sisters about it. But they don't fully understand.

I will never understand why people do this to others.I have seen the same thing happen from others not just the parents. It really hurts when this happens to you.Have you ever told them how you feel? Sometimes if you can talk to them it helps.One of my sisters did this with our nephews the youngest was her favorite and the older two was left out and hurt. I had enough of it and pointed out to her about how she was hurting and upsetting them.Her words was I never realized I was doing that to them and I am sure she never paid attenion and did not noticed it.From that day on she did her best to include them and it was alot better. I heard the middle kid always feels like they are invisible and not part of a family.Maybe someone on here can give you some advice.I hope so.