Just Bringing My Thoughts In The Open ..

Hello there! You know, I'm surprised I'm here right now, considering my somewhat lonely state online with others, seeking advice. I don't have it so so bad, I mean, I have a lot of things I'm grateful for, such as my few closest friends and my family, but frankly, I get a bit lonely when I think about my future (I worry how it will play out), and I get anxious sometimes when I try and even daydream about meeting that special "future" guy in my life. Let me explain a bit. Right now, I attend a church ward for young single adults. It is supposed to be a place where you can date and meet people, as well as (and most importantly), where people share the same beliefs and moral standards together. There are wholesome guys that attend, however, I notice since my last relationship, there's just no spark, or rather, no genuine heartfelt interest for the guys presently at the church ward I'm attending. It may be easy to assume (that this means I haven't moved on fully from my last relationship, but I have!) It was good while it lasted, but in the end, I realize it was for the best that I'm no longer in that relationship. However I feel a little discouraged. --Let me just explain that in my religious culture I've grown up with, parents start panicking when their daughters aren't meeting anyone to marry by the time their in their mid-twenties. I'll be 25 in October. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to simply rush into marriage for the sake of being married, and I know I'm considered youngish by the normal societal standards, but to me, it feels like I'm going nowhere. And it makes me feel undesirable. I wouldn't classify myself as necessarily unattractive, but honestly I don't know whether guys find my physically or "personality-wise" attractive or not. I love my parents, (yes currently I still live at home), but its like my dad will constantly bring up comments like, "When will I have grandchildren?" Or, "Why don't these boys ask out a perfectly beautiful young lady like yourself, are they blind?" Or, "You're just too intimidating or unattainable." The first question just irks me, but the other comments just feel so fake. Like, I feel like my dad just says that cause I'm his daughter. PLUS anytime I possibly go on any sort of first "get-to-know-you date," when I return home from such a first date, my dad asks, "ooohhh, did he try to hold your hand?" "Are you daydreaming about your man?" And he does this even when I say for legitimate reasons that it was not a good date. And when I communicate that, and I've given the guy a chance (multiple first dates) and I'm being honest with my feelings and truthful that I'm just feeling no spark, or no genuine heartfelt connection with the guy, its like my parents make me out to be some freakishly overly judgmental type. In my heart that's not the way it is at all. It's like they want me to just settle for whoever asks me out because I'm just getting too old so I've got to get a move on with my love life or I'm doomed!! It just gets me down. I don't quite know what to do about it. Honestly, I just try to keep my love life situations to myself, minimal as they are. Any suggestions perhaps?
nivloc04 nivloc04
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 14, 2010

Sorry I didn't comment back sooner, i'm still figuring out this website. :) <br />
But just wanted to say Thank you to both of you. I needed to get my thoughts off my chest the other day and share with others how my situation sometimes feels deep down. And thank you for sharing with me that it's ok that I desire to feel that special spark with someone. I'm just glad to hear that it's alright to feel that way and that it doesn't make me a horrible person to want that connection. For now I'm giving myself the goal of trying to think more positively this week, and to remember & be grateful for my present experiences and blessings, but thanks again for hearing me out and taking the time to read what I had to say. I just hope I didn't sound too negative.<br />
ps. just to emphasize, I love and respect my parents tremendously. And I understand my dad better than most, that he has a big heart and wants the best for all us kids, its just that he doesn't have the best "tact" when it comes to asking about my personal romantic endeavors. :) But that's okay, I love him all the same.I just needed to talk it out and thank you for soo much for taking the time to listen. Hope you all have a wonderful week w/ something to smile about. :D

You are so right about wanting to feel some kind of spark or a connection with a man. Thats how relationships start and if its not there you know it. Don't let your dads comments get you down.<br />
You know what you want and it might take awhile before the right guy comes along.

That is a very hard question to answer. I admire your honesty VERY much and wish you the best that the future has to offer. May someone come along and give you the advice you need because I have very minimal experience and knowledge about romantic relationships.