i hate coming home to an empty house every night after a hard days work of fake smiling and thank you come agains. the house is so quite it is eerie. knowing no one will call or come by is a terrible feeling. to have human contact i have to go see them. and sometimes it just isn't worth the effort. being lonely can make you think terrible things and act in ways no one else would ever see you. maybe that is good and maybe not. i just feel alone most of the time, even when surrounded by a group of people, even my friends and family. lost in a sea of people and nowhere to go.